I had this thought yesterday and it got me thinking: If I asked my students what kind of leader I am, what would they say?
As a youth worker, I think we need to be a combination of these things. More than anything, however, we should be loving and encouraging.
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” -John 15:12
What would your students say if you asked them what kind of leader you are?
2 Corinthians 4:17 – The little troubles we suffer now for a short time are making us ready for the great things God is going to give us forever.
During my quiet time last night I was reading 2 Corinthians and for some reason chapter 4 verse 17 kept standing out to me for two reasons. I know personally, I let little things upset me way too much; I n
eed to remember this verse. The second reason it stood out to me was it made me think about troubles and how we deal with them. Do we let them control us or do we use them as a life lesson and move on? If you’re a student ministry worker, past troubles in your life can be powerful tools when you’re helping a student go through similar circumstances.
In the Japanese language, the same word that means catastrophe also means opportunity. Troubles are an opening that God uses in our lives to bring about change and can help us to serve and minister to students.
Let me give you an example: Steven and I have a good friend named Rick who serves as a small group leader in the High School Ministry at Saddleback Church. Rick overcame a drug addiction problem years ago and now he specializes in helping teens who have addiction problems. He is a leader in The Landing, a program we have at Saddleback Church for teens who are dealing with hurts, habits and hang ups (you can find more information about The Landing here).
Rick is a Christian who has a firm, strong walk with God. Rick uses the past troubles in his life to help students. This year at high school camp, four of the students in his small group stepped across the line, accepted Christ into their lives and were baptized. Like many others at camp that day, I stood there with tears in my eyes watching those guys get baptized. I know what a rough road those students have had, but God put Rick into their lives. Rick lets God use him to get to these teens and it’s awesome to watch him in action.
We can all take a lesson from Rick. Don’t hide from your past, don’t be embarrassed, don’t try and cover it up. Use that hurt! Think about what it would have meant to you when you were a teenager going through a tough time. What if you had a loving, caring adult you could trust and confide in and that person would use their past hurts and experiences to help you get through your problems, and help you to grow your relationship with Jesus Christ. Would that have made a big difference in your life?
Are you using the problems in your past to help students with their problems today?
Steven: You are not reading this blog by accident. Whether you’re a current youth worker, a parent of a student in someone’s youth ministry, a student, or a potential youth worker, God knew you would be reading these words. Chances are you’re someone interested in the youth ministry field in some way or another, but maybe you haven’t made the leap yet. Or maybe you are a youth worker who knows someone that should join in youth ministry and you don’t know how to get them involved.
If either one of those people is you, let me offer you this encouragement:
If you love God and like students, you can be a leader.
It’s as simple as that.
We are all called to spread the Gospel. If you’re a Christian, you’re a teacher. Who better to teach than the next generation? They’re the future, the people that will be running the earth after we’re gone!
You don’t have to be perfect to lead students. In fact, it’s better that you’re not perfect! Everyone has had experiences in their life that have shaped who they are today. Those experiences give us the tools we need to minister to students. For example, if you’re someone who has struggled with alcohol, you can minister to someone struggling with alcohol. If you have an eating disorder in your past, you can recognize and minister to people with eating disorders. Your experiences shape your path as a youth worker.
Don’t let your insecurity of something you don’t know much about stop you from getting into youth ministry. The youth ministry field needs your voice, and more importantly, students need someone to turn to who can point them to Jesus.
Matt: Once you stepped over the line and became a Christian, you also became a teacher. Everything you do shows (teaches) those around you. If you’re reading this blog, then you more than likely decided to use the gifts and talents that God gave you for student ministry. Once you stop learning, then you also stop leading. You have to make sure you are always reading and learning more about God and growing your relationship with Him. At the same time you are also teaching those students in your small group, in your weekend services, or whatever your contact with students may be.
My mom used to say, “little pictures have big ears.” It was her way of saying to be careful what you say around the kids, because they pick up everything. Once I began serving in student ministry I really knew how important that saying was. The students in my small groups are always looking up to me, and looking to see what I do and how do it. My life has not been perfect, in fact it’s been a bumpy road for more years than I want to remember. But I also know that God has used those hurts and pains and problems so that I can be a more effective leader in student ministry.
One of the questions I have asked my students is, “If you died today, what do you want people to say about you at your funeral?” My answer to that question is I want people to simply say, “Matt made a difference.” I want to use my talents and gifts in student ministry to make a difference in a student’s life. I want to help bring them closer to God, help them through their problems, and help them to make a difference in someone’s life. I want them to know that someone cares, because in turn I want them to go on and make a difference in someone life. One generation passing on to the next about the love of God, how much better their life can be when they have a strong relationship with God. When my time is up here, I want my friends here on earth to say, “Matt made a difference,” but when I get to Heaven I want to hear God say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
Youth workers: How do you get other people involved in youth ministry?
Found this gem on Doug Fields’ blog. It’s a great list of tips about how to have deeper conversations with the students in your ministry. Read a teaser of the first four tips below, then head over to the full post here.
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1. Stay normal: Deep conversations often begin by talking about normal stuff. Don’t jump straight into the deep end and ask them to dress like John the Baptist and memorize the Septuagint. Every conversation doesn’t have to be forced toward depth. Good conversations begin as normal conversations.
2. Draw them closer to Jesus: Avoid the temptation to become “the wise leader” who subtlety promotes loyalty to oneself rather than Jesus.
3. Allow the journey to be a journey: A common tendency in discipleship is to assume others will grow quickly (like they did at summer camp). Kids made decisions at camp to follow Jesus, but now that school has kicked in, their spiritual decisions might not be as quick or radical. Slow, incremental progress is expected. Show them grace on the journey.
4. Ask questions: The power of a question is that it puts the ball in the teenager’s court and allows him/her space to reflect. Don’t answer their questions too quickly, sometimes the best answer can be another question. Strong, definitive answers often mute the stirring in one’s heart.
Today on Retro Friday we’re reposting a blog we wrote for Josh Griffin on his website, Morethandodgeball.com. You can find the original post here.
Josh’s website is one that we read everyday, if you’re not reading Josh’s blog everyday, you should be!
I know that I can be a jealous person. Because of that, I have to resist the temptation to feel hurt when one of my students doesn’t come directly to me. At times, I know I set up a wall around my “territory” of students, not wanting to allow anyone else in to help them. They have to get through that wall to get to my students, and I’m going to do whatever I can to make sure they don’t get through the wall. My students are mine. Your students are yours.
That’s when I remember Rick Warren’s famous line, “It’s not about you.” Do we really want to see the student get the advice and help they need, or are we more concerned with our own pride and desire to be the hero that solved the problem? Our goal should be that a student gets the best help possible, and sometimes that doesn’t come from me. Isaiah 5:21 says, “Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight.” If we keep on thinking we can fix all the problems, we’ll soon find out we’re not as wise as we thought.
I have to ask myself, “That student feels a bond of trust in the leader he went to, so am I doing everything I can to build up the same level of trust in that student?” The first thing I need to do is realize that we’re all shaped individually to handle different situations. If I know that someone else is better equipped to handle a specific issue, I should be more than willing to send my student their way. We all have been through different fires and come out with a better understanding of how to face the problem. Who better to help a student with a drinking or drug problem than a former alcoholic or drug addict? They know how hard it is to get to the other side, and they can help a student way better than someone who hasn’t had the same experience. We can’t let our pride get in the way when someone better equipped to deal with a problem is called upon. In fact, why not store that in our Rolodex of the mind, so that next time I know who to refer a future student to when they’re dealing with drugs or alcohol? If a student comes to you knowing you’ve been through something like that, it’s also important to make sure their leader knows what they’re going through. It’s great that you can share your past pain or hurt, but their leader needs to know what their student is struggling with as well.
Last week I was faced with this exact issue, but I was the one “trespassing” on another leader’s turf. One of my former students had turned to me in a time of need, but not necessarily because I was better equipped for the situation. I think in this case, he felt comfortable with me as one of his leaders, and he was too ashamed of what he did to talk to his current leader. When it happened, I did my best to counsel him and make sure the situation was taken care of, but I did make sure to refer him back to his leader and make sure to fill him in on everything. Here’s the bottom line: don’t build a “kingdom” in your youth ministry. Know that you have weaknesses and that other people are way better equipped for some things than you are. With God’s help and some discernment, you can turn your youth group from an island into an alliance.
Are you doing everything you can to team up with other youth workers for the benefit of your students?
My student ministry small group is composed of all high school seniors this year. I’m only going to have these guys for a year
before they get turned out into the world so I want to make sure I’m doing all I can for them. My prayer is that by the end of the school year I’ll have helped strengthen their walk with God, made them start thinking about ways to serve, and helped them put God number one in their life.
But this is also their small group, I also want to study and discuss topics and issues and chapters in the Bible that they are interested in. I want to make this fun; I want to have some great discussion this year. So in that light, here’s a copy of the e-mail I sent to all of them today:
Hey <Insert Student Name Here>
I want to make the most of our small group time this year. By the time you graduate in June, I want to help you to have a strong walk with God, I want to have you ready to be in a college-age small group and attending Crave (Crave is our College age service here at Saddleback Church). I want us to dive deep into our Bible studies and not just scratch the surface. I also want us to have fun this year. Actually I want us to have A LOT of fun this year!
I’d love to have your input, after all this is your small group. What would you like to study? What areas in your life do you think you have some issues and would like to discuss them and work through them with the group? Your responses are just between you and me, if you want to confide in the group I’ll leave that up to you, but just remember the more you open up about a problem or issue you have, the easier it is to deal with it.
I’d like for us to get involved as a group in a service project this year, if you have any ideas let me know.
I want us to do get some fun activities too! Those are great opportunities for the bond between us all to grow stronger. First up, I want to do a sleepover one night in the Refinery (The Refinery is our student ministry building at Saddleback Church, 50,000 square feet of fun!) Next week let’s pick a date we can do that.
I love you guys and can’t wait for the year that is ahead of us!
Feel free to use or customize this to suit your needs for your student ministry small group.
This blog has been up and running for exactly four months now, and so far it has only had two voices – Matt and me. Starting today we want to give you the opportunity to spice things up with your own voice.
We’re looking to open things up to you. This is brand new to us, so we’re going to borrow some guest post ideas from other respected youth ministry blogs we read.
If you’re interested in writing for us, here are some things to keep in mind…
To submit a guest post, send an email to info@gentogenym.com with the post in the message text, not an attachment. We’ll notify you by email if and when we run your post on the blog.
Thanks, and happy writing!
Life comes at us pretty fast and if you’re a student ministry worker or volunteer it can come at you non-stop. But there is one thing we need to remember to do and that’s to rest. Now people who know me are reading this and saying, “Matt is writing about needing rest? The guy who works 6 days a week? The guy who has not taken vacation for a year and a half is writing about rest? The guy who is hyper and annoying is writing about rest?”
Yeah, I am and the reason I am is because Steven convinced me to take a week off last week. A
week off from everything and just rest. Not gonna lie, the first couple of days I felt awkward and felt like I needed to be someplace. But by the time Wednesday rolled around I started feeling good and rested. It also made for some interesting quiet time with God and it was then that I remembered that the Bible commands us to get rest so we can be better prepared to work in God’s garden.
I came back feeling refreshed and recharged. I am very good at having a quiet time everyday, its been part of my daily routine for over a year now. But when I did my quiet time this past week I felt like I was putting more into it, and getting more out of it. Getting rest is necessary for good health. That’s something we need as a student ministry volunteer, if for no other reason than being able to get out of the way of a dodge ball being flung at us from a high school senior who has a throwing arm that equals Nolan Ryan’s.
I know I have not been as effective as I could be. By going full-steam all the time and not resting and recharging has led to health problems for me and it’s let stress take too much of a toll on me. I make better decisions when I’m rested, I have better advice when I’m rested, I’m funnier when I’m rested. I could go on and on but I think you get what I mean. So, I have committed to make sure I’m mixing the proper amount of relaxing time with work time so I don’t get back in the same rut again. Pray for me, because I know how I am and I know this won’t be easy for me, but I know its something I need to do. You need to also.
Matt: Recently I wrote a post on this blog about a small group study we are doing with out small groups, check here for that post. We wanted to give you some details on how the study was going.
I think for my group of high school guys the biggest realization for them has been that temptation comes in all forms, not just lust. I think at the beginning of this study that’s what they thought this was going to be. After three weeks they are looking at how temptation can come in all shapes and sizes.
One thing I have noticed in my group and a couple of the other leaders who are doing this study with their groups have mentioned to me, this study is bringing out a LOT of discussion. Discussion is very healthy in a small group, and when you can get students talking, that’s half the battle of being a small group leader. A lot of the discussion in my group has been on ways to keep themselves in check, and about getting accountability partners. As we have talked about different issues where temptation comes into play I think a lot of students are realizing that they are not the only ones who struggle with a particular issue. I can’t recommend this study enough for a student ministry small group study. One thing we have done, as leaders we review the video before we meet with our students and have several discussion points ready. This series is getting the students talking and interacting so much, I’ve yet to get to all of the discussion points that I have each week.
Steven: This study has been surprisingly good for my junior high guys as well. To be honest, I was a little nervous about it when the topic first came up. The format was different than they were used to – we would be the only junior high group there out of five. The topic was familiar, but Pastor Rick’s primary audience is adults – not suitable for junior high.
Luckily those things haven’t really gotten in the way of this being a great study for the guys. They seem to have really clicked into this topic, which makes my job as a small group leader much easier. Rick does all the teaching, so all I have to do is ask relevant questions. For the most part, once we get rolling, the boys take over and lead us off with their own questions.
Students, especially junior high students, are hungry for information about temptation.
Temptation is something they face every day, and it’s not just related to lust or sex. There are so many different areas, and I think this study has been great in helping them recognize and identify the temptations they have.
We’re also trying to push accountability out of this. We know that accountability is one of the best ways to deal with temptation, so we’re trying to start early in getting these guys to turn to each other in times of need. So far it has been difficult to get them to be fully open with each other, but luckily they come to us with some of the stuff they struggle with.
Overall, this is a great study for students. Pastor Rick speaks in a way that is accessible to anyone, and it’s a relevant topic that everyone needs to hear. You can find out more about The Invisible War at Saddleback Church’s website.
I read this article this week on YouthMinistry360.com blog. I thought this was a great article for youth ministry leaders and volunteers. It’s from Jay Higham, who is the Director of Youth and Family Ministries at St. Paul’s Presbyterian Church in Somerset, PA. You can find more great stuff from Jay at his website here.
Starting the new school year off right is a wonderful thought.
What a great time to get rid of a few bad habits, start a few good ones, and pledge to do things a little better than the year before.
See . . . told you it was a wonderful thought! Here are five simple suggestions that I know I will be using this year. Maybe they will be helpful to you, too.
Maybe you already set aside time in your daily schedule to spend time in God’s Word. Great! Keep it up! If you struggle to keep a daily quiet time schedule, don’t freak out. Many struggle with setting aside this time. But let me encourage you to really commit to making time each day to spend reading God’s Word, praying, and listening.
As those who lead youth, there really is no excuse for us not to be in God’s Word each day.
The older I get the more I find that I am in need of healthier eating habits. Long gone are the twenty-something years when I could eat whatever I wanted and burn it off while watching TV. Eating well is carefully choosing what we eat, and maybe more importantly, what we don’t eat. No crazy diet or weight loss plan. Just eat what is good for us. Moderation is important. We’re not challenging the 10th grade boys to a pizza eating contest.
We all know we feel better, and in fact are healthier when we choose to eat well. Our health is a huge part of being an effective youth worker. If you don’t feel good, it’s hard to be effective!
Working out is not my favorite thing. But if I make it through a couple days, working out begins to feel better. I have a little more energy. I’m a little more productive. And I feel healthier. Not to mention the reduced stress levels. Plus, next time you play killball, you can get back at that 11th grader who knocked you out because you had to stop and catch your breath.
And if that’s not motivation, I don’t know what is.
Routines can be good when they help us establish good working habits. I find when I stick to a routine, I accomplish some of the little things that I may not always enjoy doing. For example, when I arrive at the office in the morning I set up my laptop, check email, check my calendar for the day, return any messages, check my favorite blogs, and develop my plan of attack. All of this happens within the first 90 minutes of the morning. Then, I move about my day!
I can be a real procrastinator. In high school I was great at waiting till the last minute before tackling assignments. Even in ministry, I find there are a few tasks that I would just rather not do. That makes it that much easier to put them off. But I was given some very wise advice, many, many years ago. If I were to get into the habit of just doing what I disliked doing right away, I wouldn’t have to deal with the agony of knowing I still have to something that I really didn’t want to do. So don’t procrastinate! Attack those undesired tasks right out of the box and get them done.
It’s better to have a few minutes of “pain” instead of a couple hours of “torture” knowing you still have to get it done.
So, there you go, five simple ideas to help you start the new school and ministry year off right.
What tips would you add?
Josh Griffin (MoreThanDodgeball.com) Doug Fields (DougFields.com) YouthMinistry360.com