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Who’s in your youth ministry “trophy case”?

November 30, 2011 by 1 Comment

When I look at the time I’ve spent in youth ministry, there is a healthy mix of successes and failures. We’re always constantly learning fromthe mistakes we make, and they are what make us better leaders in the long run. On the other hand, there are the successes that come every once in a while that fulfill what you want to be as a leader.

Those are the moments that keep you coming back for more.

The other day I was driving, and I was thinking of some of the successes I’ve had during my time in ministry. I can’t bring that up without talking about Troy. He was part of my first junior high small group, and he’s now a sophomore in high school. When I met Troy, he was an awkward 7th grader that was already taller than me and didn’t really know where he was with God. Now he is longing to be more like Jesus every day.

The coolest thing I’ve seen in Troy is how far he has come, and it has all happened right in front of me. I’ve seen him go from uninterested in God to hungry for knowing more and more about him. I’ve seen him transform in the way he acts and loves people. I’ve seen the passions stirred up in him that cause him to work for God’s kingdom. It’s an amazing thing to know that God used me in some way to form Troy into the person he is today.

Question: Who is a student that is in your youth ministry “trophy case”? Do you have a Troy? Share your answer here.

Filed Under: Encouragement, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , ,

Student Testimonies

November 29, 2011 by Leave a Comment

One of my high school small group students is giving his testimony in our weekend high school services here at Saddleback Church. Testimonies can have a powerful effect on students. First off, it shows other students that they are not alone, someone else is going through similar problems or the same exact issues they have in their life. Often times teens think they are the only ones dealing with an issue. When testimonies show the path out of an addiction or substance abuse it gives hope to a teen that they have a way out also.

Second, it’s part of the healing process for a teen to talk about their problem. Saddleback Church has a huge high school ministry with about 2,000 students each weekend. That means my student has to get up in front of all those students and talk openly about his issue and how he overcame the situation, or I should say, how God got him through his problem. Students sometimes don’t realize that God is all they need until God is all they have! In the case of my student, he is hoping that other students who are going through his same situation will come to realize that once he started trusting in Jesus his problem got smaller and smaller. Having God in his life has made his issues manageable. They are not gone yet, but he has hope again.

Now here is the cool part about this…at Saddleback Church we have four services in our high school ministry, two on Saturday night and two on Sunday morning. The other students in my group are planning on at least part of the group being at all four services so that the kid in my group who is giving his testimony will  know they are there for him, they want to show support and love and help him get through the four services. As a leader this is awesome to me. These guys truly get what a small group is all about. I wish I could take credit for this, but it’s not me, its God working in this group.

Testimonies can be a powerful tool in student ministry. Here are some things to consider for students giving a testimony:

  • Unless it’s a testimony that is just going to be given in your small group, make sure parents are aware of what’s going on. Encourage them to be there in the service to show support.
  • Help your student with his testimony, keep it simple and to the point
  • Pray for your student and have your group pray for him. It’s not easy to get in front of your peers and admit your faults.
  • At Saddleback Church we have a program called The Landing that is there for students who have hurts, habits, hang-ups or addictions they are dealing with. If you have a program like that, have material available for students right after the service so they know where they can go for help.
  • Be there for your student giving his testimony, let him or her know you are supporting them in every way.
Filed Under: Encouragement, Small Groups, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

Are you as effective as you can be without rest?

November 28, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Matt: This might seem like a strange topic to write on but its one that is very important to student ministry workers and volunteers. If you’re not getting rest then you’re not giving all you can to your students or to God. If God has placed student ministry on your heart, it should be something that you are giving your all. It’s hard to do that if you’re not taking time to rest. You need time to recharge your batteries, you need time to stop and look at what you’re doing. Once you do that ask yourself  these questions about your ministry:

  • Am I being as effective as I can be?
  • Am I putting students first?
  • Am I spending time on putting together a lesson or am I throwing something together at the last-minute?
  • Am I taking time to listen to what students have to say or am I so busy I don’t have time for that?

If you don’t like the answers to any of those questions you need to stop and slow down and figure out how you can be the best you can be at student ministry. I think a lot of students  have adults in their lives that don’t really give them the time they need or really listen to them. I don’t want to be just another one of those people in their life. I want to be someone they know that God has placed there and someone who will give them quality time. The Bible actually commands us to rest, even God took a day and rested after he created the world. If God needs to find time to rest, I’m guessing we do too!

Steven: With our busy schedules every day, it can be super difficult to find a time to slow down. Between 6 classes, working part time, ministry and trying to be intentional in relationships, there is just not enough time in a week for me to find a normal “Sabbath” day like I know I should. If you’re a youth worker, or even if you’re not, chances are you’re in the same boat.

So how do we find time to set aside to just rest?

For me, it would be ideal if I could set aside a whole day to rest, but it’s just not possible. Instead, I make sure to find pockets of time throughout the week to accomplish the same thing. There are definitely days that I know I won’t be able to do this, but it’s important to plan ahead. For me, I have to put everything on a calendar. Every meeting, class, small group and appointment goes on the calendar on my iPhone. The advantage of doing that is I can visually see the the pockets of time I have to rest. Sometimes I’ll even schedule a “Do Nothing” time on the calendar to make sure I get the rest I need.

Without getting rest throughout the week, I know I will not be as effective as I can be. I’ve had weeks where I’ve had so much work to do that it seems non-stop. Those are the weeks that I look back and realize how little I actually got done. It seems weird, but when you get rest, you’re actually more effective. Think of how this would look in your ministry–rather than going hard for a straight week, take some intentional time out of each day to just. slow. down.

Question: What is the best way for you to slow down during the week? Share it here!

Filed Under: Spriritual Life Tagged With: , , ,

Repost // Why Not To Do What The Other Guys Are Doing

November 26, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Sometimes in Student Ministry there is an urge to see what others are doing in their student programs and copy them in our student ministry, even I’m a big supporter of the, “why re-invent the wheel” theory. But Today Jay Higham shows us why we might want to re-think that concept. Interesting post that has made me think about this…I bet you will too! Here’s a tease, you can find the entire post here.

WHY NOT TO DO WHAT THE OTHER GUYS ARE DOING

I love looking around at what other youth groups are doing . . .
What games are they playing?
What are they teaching?
What great media illustrations are they using?
What songs are they singing?

I also like finding out what their youth space looks like . . .
Basement, gym, Sunday school room, dedicated space, or someone’s living room.
How do they decorate?
Do they have a stage, a cafe, a sound booth or a mixer on a wheeled cart?

And I like to see what programs they’re running . . .
What do their small groups look like?
What curriculum are they using?
What do they do at their weekly group times?
How much do the students do?
How much do the volunteer leaders do?

It’s fascinating to discover and see the diversity that makes up the youth ministry world. It’s a great way to learn, expand, and enhance your own scope of youth ministry. But I’ve noticed some potentially harmful tendencies when this is taken to the extreme.

I fear the more we look to see what others are doing, the tendency is to look less at what God wants us to do.

 

Jay Higham is the Director of Youth and Family Ministries at St. Paul’s Presbyterian Church in Somerset, PA. He loves his office Mac, his video camera, and editing and producing stupid videos for his blog, church, and youth! You can visit Jay’s personal blog at www.jayhigham.com.

Filed Under: Repost, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , ,

Retro Friday // The Bottom Line

November 25, 2011 by Leave a Comment

This is a post we did for volunteeryouthministry.com last year. This post marked our sixth month anniversary writing blogs and we took a minute to sum up what we had written about in the past. I remember thinking at the time that this was getting to the end of what we had to write about. I had no idea the plans God had for us and for our own website! Thanks again to Dennis Beckner for giving us our start! The original blog can be found here.

Phil. 4:13 – I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

This week marks the six month anniversary that we have been writing this blog. The time passed quickly to be honest, but when I look back there has been a lot we have learned in these past six months. We’d like to share a few of those lessons with you.

1. Student ministry takes three things: a heart for students, a willingness to be an example and a lot of prayer! There were times when I thought we would run out of things to write about, but I don’t think that is ever going to happen. God continues to place us in situations where we are learning and growing and we pass those on to you.

2. Pain is real. We both have had to deal with some messy situations with some of our students this year. Their pain is our pain, and it kills me when I think of some of the stuff that my small group guys have gone through. But I keep Phil. 4:13 in mind, and use it when I talk with students. I try to point out the lessons that God teaches us with each pain and trouble that we go through.

3. We grow as our students grow. I think I have grown more spiritually in the past year than I have at any time in my life. We learn as we teach, we grow closer to God as we show our students how awesome their life can be when they grow closer to God. When we love on our students, we realize how much God loves us.

4. We get blessed just as much if not more than our students. I call this the “dirty little secret” in student ministry. All of us choose student ministry because we have a heart for students and we want to help them, we want them to have a blessed life, and we want them to grow closer to God and find salvation in their lives. Truth is, God blesses us as we do that.

5. Keep growing, keep learning. Leaders are learners, when you stop learning you stop leading. I want to be able to answer the tough questions for my students. Learning more about the Bible and about God draws me closer to Him. My quiet time each day is vital to having a close relationship with God. There have been times when I have read a bible passage and that very day a student would come to me with a problem that would relate to scripture I just read. I call those times, “a total God thing”. God knew the situation I was going to be in, and he gave me the ammo to fight the battle before I even got on the battlefield.

6. When things get tough, you’re doing something right. The enemy loves to kick us down a peg when we start doing good things for God. If you experience spiritual warfare, you know you’re either getting close to a breakthrough, or the enemy doesn’t like where you’re going. The hardest, most discouraging times in youth ministry are times when I know I’m doing great things.

7. Our time isn’t our time. Even with all the time we put into this game we call “youth ministry,” we have to remember that we’re not living on our time. Just like everything else, God has given us the time we have and we need to keep in mind that things will happen on His schedule. We might want something really badly, but if it’s not the right time, it’s not going to happen.

Here’s the bottom line in student ministry...how many students will be in heaven one day because you took the time to volunteer your time and pass on what you have learned from generation to generation?

Filed Under: Retro Friday, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

GUEST POST: Aaron Crumbey – Grandma’s Turkey

November 23, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Aaron Crumbey works on the High School Ministry team at Saddleback Church and is a good friend to us. Aaron, or AC as we know him, just started his own blog and yesterday he ran a post about his grandmother’s turkey. AC and I both grew up in the same neighborhood in Detroit, just in different decades. Reading his blog yesterday brought back a flood of memories of Thanksgiving in Detroit and my mom cooking all night. We’re reposting it here today. You should add his site to blogs you read everyday.

Grandma’s Turkey

 I remember when I was younger we would spend thanksgiving with my grandmother.  She would start cooking the day before thanksgiving at around 11pm and would cook all night long.  The house would smell so good it would be hard to sleep.  When it came time to eat my mouth would water as all the food made its way to the table.  One of the last things that would come to the table would be the turkey.  The turkey would be huge, my dad would carve it and from there we would eat turkey for the whole week.  Meaning my grandmother would find ways to use the leftovers.  She would make turkey sandwiches and turkey salad.  Even the neck that came inside the turkey she would use, she wasted nothing.As I was reminiscing about my grandmother and the turkey it made me think about my life. God has used every part of my life.  Even the things that I thought was useless.  I’ve had some great moments in my life, and I’ve also had times in my life where I could have been labeled a screw up.  I’ve come to learn that just like my grandmother with the turkey God doesn’t waste anything, but he uses it all the good and the bad.  I’ve seen God use parts of my life that I was kind of ashamed of.  He used it to help others that was going through the same thing.  I’m not giving you a green light to do the bad, but I really want to encourage those who have messed up.  Which would be everyone if we’re being honest.  You might feel or even see yourself as worthless but God sees you as priceless, and all the hurt and pain you’ve been through He can use to help others.  So if you’ve done things that makes you feel useless and/or unwanted.  I really want you to know that God still loves you and your life still has PURPOSE.

Trust God with your life
love u all

Aaron Crumbey a.k.a “AC” oversees Pastoral Care for the High School Ministry at Saddleback Church in CA. He is married and has three children and also has served for over three years in youth ministry. He loves youth ministry and cares deeply about seeing the next generation win.

Filed Under: Guest post, Spriritual Life Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Small Group Overnighter

November 22, 2011 by 1 Comment

Last weekend our High School Ministry at Saddleback Church hosted a “Small Group Overnighter”. The event was held at a hotel near Disneyland. After a short program with all the groups in attendance, and a prayer to send us off into the night, the groups were free to just hang out, go eat and spend some quality time together. It was a great opportunity and a chance to bond your student small group closer to each other. 

One of the things my guys had asked was if we could do a really deep Bible study session that night. Okay, I thought. If you want a really deep Bible study session, you’ll get one. I have a huge advantage in that Steven has been adopted by my group and was going with us that night and since he is a Biblical and Theological Studies major at Biola University, I took full advantage of that and asked him to help me put together a lesson for the night. We chose the topic, “What it means to be a disciple”.

Steven’s lesson was off the charts and the participation that night was amazing, the guys in my group are at a very deep spiritual level, and the participation level that night was incredible. And as pleased as I was that night, and made sure to take time to thank God that night for this small group, the big payoff for me came the next day when I got the following text from one of the guys:

            “Hey, so I’m pretty sure I came out of that retreat last night a different person.”

It was a reminder to me of a few things:

  • This is God’s group, and he is working and growing this group in ways I still can’t comprehend.
  • If you open yourself up, God will use you as a leader.
  • There are students in your group that you can reach, but you might need to find other ways to get to them. Once you do, it’s a life changing event.
  • Teaching about God’s love, grace, forgiveness and salvation is the most important thing we can pass on to the next generation.
  • Find the leaders in your student small group and work on developing them.
  • Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray for your group by name, for each thing you know is going on in their life. This student who sent me that text has asked me before to pray for God to help him “come out of his shell”. It happened at this overnighter and God has helped change him. I can’t wait to see where this student goes from here.

 

 

Filed Under: Small Groups, Spriritual Life Tagged With: , , , , ,

Thanksgiving–Stuff We’re Thankful For

November 21, 2011 by Leave a Comment

So often we get caught up in asking God for things that we forget to thank him for the things he has already given us. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, we wanted to take some time to reflect and remember what we’re thankful for. This isn’t a new idea, but I think it’s important to have a time of thanksgiving. We’d love it if you would  add your own reflections in the comments section below this post. Happy Thanksgiving!

Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving;
let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise! (Psalm 95:2)

Steven: 

I’m thankful for my family, who have always supported me and continue to do so on a daily basis.

I’m thankful for the amazing grace that I was given at a huge cost of God the Son dying after living a blameless, innocent life.

I’m thankful for the ministry that God allows me to be involved in and has equipped me to do.

I’m thankful for the opportunity to give back some of God’s gifts by sharing with countless people who have read this blog.

I’m thankful for my friends, who constantly build me up are always there to encourage me to continue seeking God.

I’m thankful for the chance to go a school that is teaching me knowledge that some people will never have the opportunity to learn.

I’m thankful that I live in a place where I’m free to worship and pursue the one true, eternal, living God.

Matt:

I’m thankful for the high school small group guys I lead, I’m thankful for everyone of them that God has placed in the group.

I’m thankful for Steven, this is an awesome ministry partnership God had placed us in, and Steven is an amazing friend.

I’m thankful for the parents God gave me, even though I only had them on this earth with me for a short time, the lessons they instilled in me are still what drives me.

I’m thankful for my church and some amazing people that God has put in my life and allowed me to learn student ministry from them.

I’m thankful that I’ve learned to let God lead my life and not try to run the whole show myself, If I would have followed my own advice I wouldn’t be where I am today or the person I’ve become.

I’m thankful for the life I’ve lived, and that I can use the painful times to help students overcome the painful times in their lives.

I’m thankful that as I sit here writing this I have so many blessings in my life that it’s had for me to narrow the list down to just a few. I. Am. Blessed.

Filed Under: Praise and Worship Tagged With: , , , ,

Porn week on DougFields.com

November 19, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Doug Fields has had an awesome series of posts on his blog this week that he has deemed “Porn Week.” In his own words, it’s not as fun as Shark Week, but just as dangerous. It all started with a post about lust vs. ambition, which then led to a crazy number of comments prompting a lot of talk about porn. Check out an excerpt from Tuesday’s post below, then head to Doug’s blog to see all the posts from this week.

There are so many areas of life that are damaging that we’re either unwilling and/or afraid to talk openly about. Porn is one of them.

I’m so tired of hearing about this! It breaks my heart when I see the grip it has on Christian leaders and it kills me knowing that our youth groups are full of teenagers who are dying in this battle/struggle.

I meet every week with a small group of 10th grade guys who I love deeply. They’re great kids, yet I know every single one of them struggles with lust/porn and is always one click away from a self-defeating spiral. This trap has a cost!

…

Tuesday: 3 ways to help teenagers with porn

Wednesday: Seriously Dad, What’s Wrong with Porn? - Part 1 of a guest post by Jonathan McKee

Thursday: Does Porn Make You Impotent? – Part 2 of a guest post by Jonathan McKee

Friday: Porn…where do you send people for help?

Filed Under: Repost, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Retro Friday // Who Needs You?

November 18, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Here’s a post we wrote for volunteeryouthministry.com You can find the original post here.

Doctors don’t heal the healthy, they heal the sick

“Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” Mark 2:17

STEVEN: I’ve been experiencing a feeling of neglect lately. Not necessarily for me, but for my small group guys. That statement might be a little extreme, but in the past couple of weeks I’ve had this feeling that I’m not spreading myself out enough for all of my boys. Let’s be honest, it’s hard to spend a lot of time with each kid in a 13-person group, but I still felt guilty about not spending enough time with some of them. This week, I set a rule for myself that every week I would have at least one meaningful conversation with each of my guys during small group. That way I could feel better about making sure I spread myself out enough and not give the impression of playing favorites. Then life happened. While that was a great idea in theory, it’s just not as practical as I had hoped.

I don’t know if the generations are changing, or if I just got a particularly trouble-laden group this year, but it seems like there are a lot more issues that have come up for my boys this year than with my last group of junior highers. Between family conflict, extreme peer pressure at school, broken families, self-confidence/image meltdowns, etc., I have a lot of hurting kids. Most of them are sporadic things that come and go, but there are definitely a couple of guys that have constant issues that come up and need to be dealt with. That’s when I realized the fault in my “spread myself out” plan. The fact is, some kids just need more help than others. That usually means you’re going to spend more time with them, and there’s not a lot you can do to change that. I love the idea of spreading out, but I know some of my kids are pretty much self-sustaining at this point and don’t need quite as much attention as others.

This morning as I was thinking about my boys, the above verse from Mark popped into my head. Jesus knew the importance of spreading the wealth, but he also knew that people with ailments needed to be helped more than people that were spiritually healthy. It seems to me that we should take this same approach in youth ministry. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying to only spend time with certain students, just don’t feel guilty when you spend more time with some than you do with others. Just like Jesus, we need to recognize the hurt and sin and face it head on.

MATT: I want to spend time with each of the guys in my high school small group each week, and during our small group I try to hit each one up for a little one on one time. One thing I noticed with myself is that sometimes I tend to spend more time with my core group of students, the one who are really grounded in their faith, are at church each and every week and are students I enjoy spending time with. Today, Steven and I talked about the above verse in Mark where Jesus is asked why he eats and hangs out with tax collectors and prostitutes. (even in biblical times, people didn’t like tax collectors, not much has changed) Jesus’ answer was, “who needs a doctor more, the sick or a well person?” Sometimes I admit it, I take the easy way out. Some of my guys have some tough issues. I find myself asking God, “Okay God, what lesson are you trying to teach me with this kid?” These are the students that are not as easy to talk to as the others, for one reason or another. I talk with them but sometimes it’s not a deep intentional conversation, and then I move on to my core group. But if I want to be Christ-like, and I do, I need to remember that verse above, and be more intentional with the students who need more time.

Last night I had the opposite happen to me. One of my guys who has his feet firmly planted in his walk with God was a bit quiet. I asked him a couple of times if everything was okay, but I didn’t really dig deep, I just let it go. After group was over last night, I got a text from him. He had something major going on and needed to talk to me, but I was talking to the other guys and he didn’t want to interrupt. I felt horrible, I missed the signs! He was one of “the sick ones” last night, but I was busy talking to the “well ones.” It’s not easy to always know whats going on with each of the guys in my small group, I have 17 this year, but by taking time to talk one on one to each one it’s easier to know what’s going on in their world.

In our weekend setting during student services, I try to look for the kids who are standing or sitting by themselves. At the same time, I look for the guys in my group, and also our other “core” students. It takes some time, but I try to spend time with each of those groups of students. But I’ll be the first to admit, I need to remember this Bible verse from Mark and try to be more attentive and compassionate to the students who are hurting, and it’s something I just added to my prayer list. God help me remember to be more Christ-like in this area. Help me be a good example in this area to my students so that I can pass this trait down to the next generation.

Are you taking time with each of your students, or just the fun ones who have no issues? Do you take the time to know what’s going on in their lives?

Filed Under: Retro Friday, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , ,
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