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Small Group Lesson – Five Minutes To Live

November 17, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Here’s a powerful exercise you can do with your student small group.  I did this with my high school small group last night and judging from the text messages I got from almost all of them today, last night’s exercise really sent a message to them. Here’s how it goes:

Give your students a pen and a piece of blank paper. You need to be in a room that has a light switch that is close to you, and if the lights were turned off the room would be completely dark. (This will make sense to you later)

Tell them they have five minutes to live, so here is there chance to tell the important people in their life how they feel about them. Tell them to use to pen and paper to write a letter to parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, friends, whoever is really important in their life, and tell them how important they are to them and that they love them.  Use either a stop watch or a stop watch app on your smart phone. Let them know when the five minutes begins.

After one minute, in a loud voice let them know one minute has gone by and they now have four minutes to live. You will notice they start writing a little faster. Wait about another 30 seconds and then turn off the lights in the room, making the room completely dark. When you do that you’re going to hear your students say things like, “Hey, I wasn’t finished!”. That’s when you say, in a loud voice, “That’s because you don’t get a five minute notice, you usually don’t get any warning!  At anytime you can be gone, or someone you love can be gone! If you haven’t taken the time before to let the important people in your life know you care about them, they might never know so what are you waiting for??”

In my group, and I’m sure in yours at this point you can hear a pin drop, and I had a few guys in tears. It’s a powerful lesson in life but it works. It opens the door to a lot of discussion afterwards.

I’d love to hear comments back how this works in your group.

 

Filed Under: Small Groups, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

The best ministry moments happen after the organized plan is over

November 16, 2011 by 1 Comment

Last night I had one of the best nights of small group ever. It wasn’t the lesson. It wasn’t the topic. It wasn’t even the snack before we got started. It’s the conversation I had after the organized lesson was over.

The conversation I had last night reminded me of something. Even though we can plan to have a great lesson that we think our students need to hear, we put in a ton of effort to prepare it and get great discussion questions ready and then we execute it PERFECTLY, nothing beats one-on-one relational ministry. The topic we spent an hour talking about last night was good, but the fifteen-minute conversation I had with one student made the night great. We took a huge leap forward in that one student’s life.

This post is two things: 1) A huge praise to the God that made everything happen and gave me the words when talking to that student last night and 2) a reminder to all leaders: Do not get so caught up in your plans that you miss the opportunity for the unplanned. That is when great ministry happens.

Filed Under: Counseling, Small Groups, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , ,

What Are You Thankful For In Your Life

November 15, 2011 by Leave a Comment

I’ve seen a lot of people on my friend’s list on Facebook doing “30 days of being thankful” during November. At first I thought that was sort of cheesy but the more I thought about the idea it made sense to me for a different reason. Sometimes we forget that we all have stuff to be thankful for. Writing it down makes you remember and it makes it real to us.

Students might not feel like their life is blessed if they don’t have the most current iPhone or Droid, or the latest video game that is all the rage. Some feel that if they aren’t wearing the latest fad in jeans that they are missing out. When you take the time to write down everything that’s in your life, material objects, family, friends, good health, salvation,etc. it makes you realize that God has truly blessed your life.

We forget about family and friends or we take them for granted. We should be thankful all year round but this time of year we should really make an effort to stop and tell the people in our life what they mean to us and thank God for putting them in our lives.

Today I began a two-week post on my high school small group’s Facebook page and I’ve asked them to put down things they are thankful for and to put those things front and center in their lives. Every day I’ll ask them to post something different and this week during our small group time we’ll spend time talking about it.

We’ve also done a couple of serve projects as a group, helping those in our community who are less fortunate. Those are “God moments” when you realize how blessed your life is when you see those a lot less fortunate than you.

Question: What ideas do you have to help your students know that they are blessed?

Filed Under: Spriritual Life, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , ,

Coming Soon from GenToGenYM.com…

November 14, 2011 by 1 Comment

As this blog keeps growing, we always want to make sure we’re keeping things fresh and relevant. In an effort to do that, we want to give you a sneak peek of some things to come:

  • Student posts

We already have two generations’ voices on the blog every week–now we’re adding a third. We want to give the student generation a voice. First up will be a post by one of my (Steven) former students. When I think of successes in youth ministry, he’s the student my mind instantly goes to.

  • Follow the (new) leader

We started this a few weeks ago, and we’ll be continuing to follow John in his new small group adventures each month.

  • Holiday posts

We’ve done a few holiday blogs on other sites before GenToGenYM started, so we’ll bring those back in our Retro Fridays. We’ll also be writing a few fresh posts on the topic of the holiday season to get you through the holidays in the best way possible.

  • Guest posts

We want to bring you a ton of new guest posts from the student ministry universe. That’s right, we’re going international.

  • Site tweaks after the 1st of the year

Starting in January, you may start to see s a few tweaks to the way the blog looks. This could be anything from the font changing to subliminal messaging that makes you want to buy us presents. Just kidding about that… the font will probably stay the same.

Our goal is to make sure we’re bringing you the freshest content and the best resources so that you can keep your ministry fresh. You can then pass on the information we’ve shared from generation to generation.

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GUEST POST: Frustrations, Joys and Reflections of a Rookie

November 11, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Today we feature a guest post from Taylor Bird, a friend of ours who is Interning with the Junior High Ministry at Saddleback Church. Taylor is also a leader of a junior high small group.

Recently I began leading my first ever youth small group. I’ve been involved in youth ministry off-and-on for the past two-and-a-half years, but this is the first time I’ve ever had the chance to be a small group leader.

My group consists of seven 7th grade boys who cover the entire range of the introvert-extrovert spectrum. They possess all the qualities that one would expect to find in such a group: excitement, squirrely-ness, inappropriate humor, loudness, insecurity, arrogance… you get the point. And I love every single one of them.

For me, there are few things as exciting as seeing teenagers who demonstrate a genuine hunger for knowing God. When the same student who, five minutes ago, I couldn’t get to sit still and be quiet, shares an unusually deep and insightful view on what it means to be created in God’s image, I get filled with joy. There’s something uniquely powerful about hearing God’s truth from the mouth of a squirrely 13-year-old, and it’s a great reminder that God can stir a passion for him in the unlikeliest of places.

It would be easy to walk out of small group each week feeling like nothing was accomplished. When you’re struggling to get through the curriculum because your students are unable to focus for longer than 12 seconds, when two of your guys catch a laughing fit at the most inappropriate of times, when inside jokes from earlier in the evening return disguised as prayer requests— as the leader, the one who is supposed to be the youth pastor to these kids, you might feel as if you’ve failed in your role.

If you are a youth small group leader, I encourage you to search for the golden nuggets amidst the muddy water. I imagine that some weeks will be better than others, and the gold will visibly shine through the dirt. Other weeks, though, might produce nothing but frustration and hopelessness. Still, there is gold to be found. Hold on to that deep comment from the kid who is normally the problem causer. Remember that laughter is a gift from God, so that raucous game of Apples to Apples is a form of worship. Even if there’s nothing specific you can grab, be confident that God was present, “For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them” (Matthew 18:20, NLT).

Most importantly, realize that God is the one who transforms, not you. God uses you as a conduit for his power, but ultimately, only he can move someone to the next step in his or her faith. Ephesians 3:20 says, “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Surrender your small group and your students to God’s will, trusting that his powerful transformation is at work, even when you can’t see it.

Taylor Bird is an intern at Saddleback Church’s jr. high ministry. He’s a recent graduate of Pepperdine University, where he received his Bachelor’s degree in journalism.

Filed Under: Guest post, Small Groups, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

“Have you seen Gideon?”

November 10, 2011 by 2 Comments

I got one of the best texts I’ve ever gotten from a student on Tuesday night. It contained 4 simple words:

“Do u know gidion?”

If it was sent to anyone else, it probably wouldn’t make much sense. To me, it had some deep, deep roots that told me this kid needed to talk about something that was maybe uncomfortable or he just didn’t know how to start.

Last summer at camp, our theme Bible passage for the week was from Judges – the story of Gideon. At the beginning of the week our camp speaker, Erika Thomas, gave the students a tool to use during the week. She said that sometimes we know we need to talk about something, but we might not know how to start the conversation, especially with a leader.

She told the students that at any time during the week they could use a simple phrase – Have you seen Gideon? – and the leader they were talking to would know that they had something they wanted to talk about. At that point, the responsibility of setting up the conversation and initiating it would be on the leader’s shoulders.

When I got that text on Tuesday, I knew 2 things:

  • This kid has something he needs to talk about, but doesn’t know how to start the conversation
  • It’s a big deal to this kid, otherwise he wouldn’t be bringing it up with code words

If you don’t already have a code phrase with your students like this, consider making one up. It gives your students an “out” when they need help. They might feel too awkward to come right out and say what they need, so this gives them an opportunity to tell you without telling you.

Question: Do you have a code-phrase with your students? Share it below.

Filed Under: Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , ,

What Role Do You Play In Your Students’ Lives?

November 9, 2011 by 1 Comment

This morning during my quiet time I was praying for each of the  12 students in my high school small group. It was during my time of praying for them individually and for what’s going on in their lives that it dawned on me that I play a different role in each of these guy’s lives. Some who do not have a dad living with them or have a close relationship with their dad see me as a father figure, some see me as a friend, some see me as that crazy uncle we all have but don’t talk about. And a couple that are new to the group still see me as their small group leader, but I know that will change over time. (don’t rush that time by the way, see Steven’s post from yesterday!)

If you’re a small group leader here’s some things you need to know. God formed this group, you didn’t, your student ministries didn’t and your church didn’t. God did. He knew a long time ago who he would place in your student small group. Each one of those students is a piece of the puzzle. As a small group leader I’ve had to commit to God that I’ll do what it takes. Some of my students need a lot of my time, some not so much. My commitment to my guys and to God is that I’ll do whatever it takes to make a difference in their lives. Sometimes that means spending a lot of time putting together a lesson that they need to hear. Sometimes it means getting hit in the head with a dodge ball at 2:00 o’clock in the morning during a sleepover with the group in our student ministry building. Sometimes it means just being there and listening to them. Not judging, not telling them what to do…just listening.

Make sure you take the time to figure out what role you are playing in your student’s lives. When you know your role, you know how to reach that student and how to make a difference, a real difference. When you know your role, it helps you to be more intentional in your contacts with them and also how to love on them and let them know you’re there for them. When you know your role it helps you strengthen your student’s walk with God and grow their relationship with Him.

Have you taken the time to figure out what role your students have for you?

Filed Under: Small Groups, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , ,

All we can do is plant the seed and water it

November 8, 2011 by 1 Comment

I’ve talked about this on the blog before, but I think most of us have one specific flaw as leaders – we tend to want instant results.

Especially for those of us who work in junior high ministry, where the 2 or 3 years we have seems way too short to really change our students, instant results are a (maybe subconsciously) high priority.

But here’s the thing…

So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.
1 Corinthians 3:7 ESV

In youth ministry, one of the best things you can do as a leader is to plant a seed. Obviously planting a seed doesn’t have the instant gratification that we want – the seed is planted (underground), and we don’t see it for a while.

We can even pour a ton of water on it, hoping that the seed we planted weeks and weeks ago grows quicker. This can do one of two things:

  • Make us more anxious that the seed we planted isn’t growing
  • Drown out the seed, making it impossible to ever grow

The best thing we can do for that invisible seed is gradually water it – drop by drop, knowing and expecting that it will grow, but not allowing ourselves to get too anxious when we don’t see instant results. Most of the time, we won’t see instant results, but we can be faithful in knowing that the Grower will sprout the seed when the conditions are right for us to see it.

Question: How do you keep yourself from getting anxious when you don’t see the seeds you’ve planted sprout right away?

Filed Under: Encouragement, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , ,

Have you set goals for your youth group/small group?

November 7, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Steven: Last Wednesday I wrote about something I did with my junior high small group that was meant to encourage some goals that we had set for them. I didn’t go into the goal-setting part much, so we wanted to revisit that idea and encourage any leaders reading this to follow suit.

Before the small group year started, my co-leader and I met to discuss the guys in our group and what we wanted to see accomplished this year. They are all 8th graders, so this is the last year they will be in our group. The main thing we decided was that we didn’t want them to leave the group as the same people they were when they started with us. The other thing we realized is that we didn’t do a great job last year of intentionally encouraging them to take next steps in their walk with God that were specific to each guy.

As a result, those are two of the main goals we set for them this year – don’t leave the group the same way you came in, and take some kind of significant next step in your walk with God.

Goal-setting in the area of ministry is crucial if you want any kind of success. Last year we learned this the hard way when we didn’t really set any goals. We had some subconscious goals in mind, but we never put them on paper to hold ourselves accountable for them, and as a result we didn’t see a ton of fruit come from our group. This year is different. We have definite goals ON PAPER that we’ll constantly be referring back to throughout the year to not just keep our boys accountable, but ourselves as well.

Matt: Over the years I’ve discovered some important things about goals. First off, you have to write them down. If you don’t you’re gonna forget about them in about a week. Write them down and look at them constantly. I write down my goals on a 3X5 card and put it on my bathroom mirror that way I see it every morning.

Second, goals have to be measurable. If you can’t measure it, you have no way of knowing if you met, came close, or surpassed your goals. For instance, if your students make a goal that says, “By the end of the school year I want to be more spiritual,” how do you measure that? Instead make a goal that would be along these lines: “By the end of the school year I want to be spending 45 minutes a day in a quiet time with God.”

It easier to obtain your goals when you have someone pulling for you.

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. -Ecclesiastes 4:9 NLT

When you have someone helping you who knows how important your goal is to you, it makes it so much easier to achieve your goal. Suggest to your students that they also use an accountability partner with their goals. As a leader make sure your students know that you are there for them as well. I intend to also set a couple of goals along with my students, that way they can see that I am very involved in this goal setting exercise, and that I don’t ask them to do something that I wouldn’t do.

Filed Under: Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Youth Worker as Theologian: Why Youth Ministry Is Fundamentally Theological

November 5, 2011 by Leave a Comment

This post from YouthWorker.com is near and dear to my heart. As a Biblical and Theological Studies major, I’m studying doctrine and theology day in and day out. Andrew Root of Princeton Theological Seminary wrote a post about the future of youth ministry with a stronger theological influence. Check out the tease below, then head over to YouthWorker.com for the full post from Andrew.

A few weeks ago, I was sitting with two fellow seminary professors, both talented biblical scholars, discussing the present and future of our seminary. I explained to them that those of us in the Children, Youth and Family Department were planning on deepening our commitment to our Ph.D. program in the next few years. They both responded positively and encouraged the possible new endeavor.

When it became clear the conversation was about to shift topics, however, one of them turned to me and, with a half smile that said he knew his next comment would draw my ire, inquired, “My only question is, who is going to teach the Ph.D. seminar on group mixers?”

Filed Under: Repost, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , ,
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