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Gearing up for Summer

June 3, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Matt: Summer is just around the corner and for most student ministries that means a break in small groups. Summer means vacations for a lot of families so it’s easy to lose the momentum you have built in your group. Today we want to talk about ways to either keep your group going during the summer or to keep them in contact with you and each other.

  • My group is going to keep meeting through the summer. We might not every single week but I want to keep this group together and keep the bond going between these guys.
  • Keep your lessons light and something that if a student misses a couple weeks he won’t come back and feel lost and like he has no idea what you’re talking about.
  • If your group isn’t meeting, keep in contact weekly with them either by text or phone calls. Have lunch with them, plan outings for the group. Make sure they know that you’re there if they need something or just need to talk.
  • Don’t forget about parents over the summer. Keep your parent ministry going as well with e-mails about summer camp or other major events your student ministry will be holding over the summer.

Steven: Summer is a time that can be really helpful for building relationships. Typically in our ministry setting, small groups take the summer off for leaders to recharge and get ready for a new year starting in the fall. Just because you take a summer off doesn’t mean ministry has to stop!

  • Like Matt, my group will be meeting over summer. When we meet over summer we do 2 things differently: focus primarily on building relationships and keeping group lighter. We won’t get into heavy Bible lessons or super convicting discussions. Instead, we want to do more fun stuff like going to the beach or hanging out to see a movie.
  • Take time to do things you can’t do during the school year. I have a few students that have asked over and over to go to Disneyland, but we haven’t been able to because of school and work. Over summer, we have a lot more days to do something out of the ordinary like that.
  • Build yourself as a leader. Since I’m not under the same school pressures and I don’t have to prepare a full-fledged lesson every week, I’m spending time reading resources and doing self-training so I’m ready to go when the new school year rolls around.
Filed Under: Small Groups, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , ,

Using Social Media to Connect with Students

May 27, 2013 by Leave a Comment

There are so many ways to use social media to get your message out or grow your ministry. Today we’re highlighting some ways that you can use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and tons of other social media to your advantage.

Matt:  

  • I set up a private Facebook page for my high school small group. It’s a great way to get information out to them and to share prayer requests.  Since it’s private, no one outside our group can see it.
  • Each week I try to post something about our small group time and I try to share a photo. It’s a great way for me to acknowledge the guys in my group  and to share with other leaders in high school ministry what’s going on in our group. It’s always a way parents can see what’s going on in the group.
  • I don’t tweet very much but when I do I like for it to be something thought-provoking. Something that will be a conversation starter with either my student small group or my own adult small group. We also have a Twitter page for this blog, it’s a good way to get people to view our page.

Steven: Social media strategies look a little different for junior highers than it does for high schoolers… Here’s how I use social media to reach my students:

  • In the JH world, Instagram is your friend. Because Facebook’s official minimum age is 13, a lot of JH students aren’t there yet. Instagram is huge in their world. A majority of my Life Group guys use it, so I take a bunch of pictures when we do stuff together and post stuff with them tagged. That gives them a sense of ownership and belonging.
  • This isn’t necessarily a way to get connected to students through social media, but we’ve tried to inform parents the best we can about what the different social media platforms are. We want our parents to be as informed as possible so they can guide their kids.
  • The other big one for JH seems to be Kik. It’s not as popular as some of the others, but a few of my students use it to get around text restrictions. It’s a free messaging app for smartphones that acts basically like texting/picture messaging. Not sure why it’s so popular, but because it is I know we need to have a presence there.
Filed Under: Culture, Youth Ministry

Stop and Get Lost

May 20, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Steven: At the end of a busy season of life, like right now at the end of a semester of classes, I need to completely get my mind out of school mode. That looks different for me every time, but it consistently includes 2 things: video games and Disneyland. Those are both things that, when I’m doing them, my mind can get completely lost in them and I don’t think about school at all. When I go home at night after a busy day of school stuff, I can turn on FIFA 13, play a few games, and I don’t think about the craziness of the past semester at all in that moment.

We need the same time after a busy season of ministry. Whether it’s summer, a season of small group or a rough time with a particular student, we need to take time not not only rest, but reset our brains. We need those times to recharge and reset after a particularly busy time, that way we’re ready to go for the next crazy season. We all need to find our FIFA 13 and be willing to go there, rather than going full throttle all year long.

Matt: I saw a car commercial the other night for the Nissan Leaf. it’s not a hybrid car, it’s a total electric car. There is a scene of the car in the garage with the owner plugging it in. It made me think, sometimes to recharge your batteries you need to just stop and plug in and do nothing. Well nothing of substance that is. For me one of my escapes is to cook. I love everything about cooking. The planning of a menu, the shopping, the prep work and then the actually cooking. Although to some it might seem like work, to me it’s relaxing and a way that I de-stress. It’s a way for me to totally lose myself and forgot a busy season or a problem I’ve just been through.

Finding time to stop and do something you can get lost in and forget about what’s going on around you might look different to each of us but it should have the same result. The result being when I’ve finished my batteries are recharged, I’m mentally ready to move on and charge the next hill and my energy level has been restored. This is especially true for me in student ministry, it keeps me from burning out, it keeps me focused and it makes me ready for the next challenge.

Filed Under: Spriritual Life, Youth Ministry

Students Who Disappear

May 6, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Saw this post from Justin Knowles, one of the guys on our high school ministry staff, last week. I think it’s probably something that you’ve either gone through yourself or will go through at some point in your ministry. Definitely one to keep in mind, and a great reminder to be praying for the students that have slipped through the cracks.

Check out the first part of Justin’s post, then head over to his blog for more.

It is in my nature to want to make student feel welcome. I want to invite them in. This last year there has been a few students who joined my small group, which is amazing. These students were invited by friends, they were coming consistently  they were engaging in conversation, they were “in”… then one day he was gone. The student disappeared. Just stopped coming. Gone. Not really, cause I still saw him via social media and such, but just not coming to group anymore. The others in the group still invited him to come, I pursued him. Nothing.

What do we do? What happens when students just stop showing up?

Filed Under: Repost, Small Groups, Youth Ministry

Conversations That Make a Difference

April 29, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Steven: It’s easy for students to steer conversations in ways they want them to go. Keeping things surface level and in a “safe” zone is rarely what we want from our students, so we need to figure out ways to get them to take baby steps in the right direction.

A great example of this is a conversation I had with a student last week. This student is someone who has claimed to have opened up about everything in his life to our small group, but something about him just doesn’t seem like what he’s telling everyone is true. I was texting with him last week and asking him if he’s holding anything back. I told him he didn’t have to tell me what it is right then and we didn’t have to talk about it that night, but that I wanted him to let me know if there was anything like this that he was keeping private. He gave in and said yes, so we set a goal together for him to talk to us about it this week.

This was a seemingly small step to him, but it will yield huge results that he wouldn’t have had without a nudge in the right direction.

Matt: I think over the past few years I have developed a sixth sense of being able to tell when a student is not being totally open and telling all about a problem. Before I sit down and have a conversation that I know needs to take place, I spend some time in prayer and I ask God to give me the right words and questions to ask. Sometimes I’m amazed and what will pop into my head and usually it ends up being just the question that needs to be asked.

I’ve learned to keep digging. I’ll ask the same question but in another way. Today I had a conversation with a former student from my last small group and when I asked him how everything was, his reply was, “good, everything is good.” My first thought was that that’s not totally true and I think something is worrying him. I rephrased the question and said, “No, really, how is everything going?” That was all it took for him to open up an hour long conversation about some stuff going on his life. A conversation that would not have taken place if I didn’t keep digging.

Filed Under: Youth Ministry

Chasing Students

April 22, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Matt: It’s hard to write on a topic where you’re not sure where you land on this subject. Do you chase after students who avoid going to church or small group or do you wait for them to be in the right “season” and come back on their own? I can actually see it being okay to do both. Sometimes I think students want to be chased, it’s an attention getting measure. Other times I think they just want to be left alone and they are not ready to hear the Gospel or to accept Jesus into their lives.

Sometimes I worry that if I chase after a student it’s just going to make him run farther away. I also wonder about students that left a small group or stop coming to church and think if I did enough for them or if I could have reached out one more time and gotten them back on the right path. All the while I also realize that everyone goes through different seasons and maybe right now is not a time a student is “ready” to accept Christ. If I wait for the right time it’s easier to make him a follower for life. But what if I miss that time?

Steven: Matt set up this line of thinking perfectly. I think there’s even another side that takes this “chasing” to an even broader level, and there may even be different applications depending on students being in either junior high or high school. This chase doesn’t have to be a readiness to accept Jesus, but anything.

For example, I feel like 5 years in ministry has given me an ability to read students well. I can usually tell if someone is trying to put on a face to make sure people see them as if nothing is wrong. So the question is, do we wait until that student is ready to talk about the issue on his own terms, or do we chase after it and encourage him to talk?

I would say that I lean more toward chasing. Especially for junior high students, some people have a stronger desire to be chased. They may not know how to express themselves, so they need someone to come after them. High school may be a little more on the “wait it out” side of this issue, but we have to decide where we land: chase or wait.

Filed Under: Counseling, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , ,

Ignoring Warning Lights

April 15, 2013 by Leave a Comment

I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. -Romans 7:2

Matt: This week I heard an employee getting chewed out for basically burning up the engine in a vehicle. He had ignored the warning light on the dash that the engine temperature was too high and the oil pressure too low. Because he ignored the warning lights he had destroyed the motor in the car. It made me think about how often we do this in our lives. We see a warning light come on regarding something we are doing or a behavior we are engaging in but we we still keep going, all-the-while ignoring the warning light.

The next thing we do is wonder where did we go wrong, how did things get so out of hand? But if we’re honest with ourselves we can probably look back and see the warning light we ignored. Sometimes it’s not just a warning light: God puts a stop sign in front of us, but we drive right though the sign. Sometimes it’s because we think we know better and sometimes it’s because we just don’t care, we get caught up in the pleasure of the moment. Regardless of the reason, if you get yourself connected to God and keep the connection strong, it makes it easier to see and follow the warning lights.

Steven: If we’re honest with ourselves, we can almost always see the warning signs when we start to slide downhill. It could be something as simple as feeling a temptation toward sin. It could be someone mentioning that you’re acting a particular way. It could even be a thought that pops into your head, possibly prompted by the Holy Spirit. In any case, we often feel these warnings before something happens, and we need to be ready to act on those warning signs. In a car, we start pressing the brake pedal when a stop sign is coming (well, most of us do). We need to learn to step on the brake when we see the same stop signs in our lives.

Once we learn to see the warning signs in our lives, it will be much easier to recognize the signs in our students’ lives. They face the same challenges we do on a daily basis, but they may not know how to recognize the warning signs that lead up to those challenges. That’s where our experience in recognizing a warning sign helps us lead them toward God.

Filed Under: Spriritual Life, Youth Ministry

Faith Loopholes

March 25, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Steven: It seems like students have an answer to everything. Whether it’s a simple question, a complex thought or a theological debate, students always seems to think they know better. A prime example for students I’ve spent time with is when there’s something in the Bible or something about God that isn’t particularly easy to swallow. If a student doesn’t like it because it restricts what they can do or alters their life in some way, they always want to find a way around it.

These are faith loopholes.

When a student comes up against something he doesn’t want to deal with, he’s going to try to find a way around it. Faith loopholes often starts with, “How far can I…” or, “Well what if I just…” or, “But it’s not really sinning if I do ________, right?” All that’s happening with these phrases is a student’s brain trying to find a way to accomplish what they want, but still staying on God’s “good side.” If we’re honest, most of us probably do this too. As we go through this week, we’ll see how this is played out and how we can remedy certain situations.

Matt: I’ve noticed that as I talk about difficult situations with students sometimes their first response will be to try and find a way around Scripture or to do what they want to do, and find a way to do it without sinning. I’ve had to explain that you can’t have it both ways. God has rules for us to live our lives and they are rules that are designed to grow and strengthen us, not rules that are there just to make life not be fun. I’m oftentimes amazed at the amount of thought that some students put into trying to find a loophole to one of God’s commandments. I wish they would put that much time into Bible study in general.

This week we’ll give you answers to the loophole situations and questions that students will send your way. Sometimes it’s not just students that are looking for loopholes, I think sometimes we all do it and we need to be reminded that Jesus has a better plan and better way. We hope you’ll join us this week as we begin our “Faith Loopholes” series.

Filed Under: Youth Ministry Tagged With:

Lukewarm Faith

March 18, 2013 by Leave a Comment

I know your deeds,that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other!  So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. –  Revelation 3:15-16 ESV

Matt: I read this verse this week and in my mind the image of lukewarm was something that was not palatable. Cold water is refreshing, it’s something good to drink on a hot day. Hot water is soothing to soak in and bathe in. But lukewarm is just plain yucky. Jesus would rather we be one way or other. When I feel I’m getting to a lukewarm place in my faith I know I have to do some things different. I need to get into the Word more, I need to make sure I’m having a quiet time everyday. I’ve found that the times when I don’t feel like praying is when I need to pray the most.

These are all things I would advise a student to do in order to recharge his spiritual batteries. Serve projects are also another good way to get our faith back to being red hot. There is something about serving others that makes us feel good and makes us feel like our faith is making a difference. God wants us to make a difference in our lives and in the lives of others. If we’re not making a difference, we’re lukewarm and it’s easier to let Satan into areas of our lives where he can find the crack in the armor.

Steven: The tricky part of this type of discussion is when you’re trying to guide a student in this process of becoming hot or cold. We can’t just MAKE a student stop being lukewarm–they have to want it more than you want it for them. If they don’t want to change from lukewarm, there’s nothing you can do to change that. What we CAN do is guide them in the process once they’ve realized they’re lukewarm.

Actually, this is good news for any leader. It takes the pressure off of us, instead of forcing us into the box of being the primary motivators of students’ faith. We can always point out some things students can work on, but ultimately they have to make the decisions to change or stay the same. The same goes for us: no one can tell us we need to change our lukewarm ways, but some people might speak into our lives to push us in the direction of change. Then we have to make the decision to be hot or cold. It’s not up to others–it’s up to us.

Filed Under: Spriritual Life, Youth Ministry Tagged With: ,

Stressed Out Students

February 25, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Steven: Just as we deal with stressors in our own lives, students deal with their own unique sets of stressors. They deal with pressure from parents to perform well in school, tension from coaches to do well on their sports teams and the ever present pressure to be seen as someone that people want to be around. Stress is something that can drive a student to do things they wouldn’t normally do, so how do we help them through those situations?

  • Perspective. Many times the best thing we can do is help them see that their situation isn’t as big as they’re making it out to be. Sure, that test on Thursday might be huge, but will it really flunk you out of junior high if you don’t do well?
  • Pacify. Even after putting things in perspective, it might not relieve the stress. Then it’s best to just try to calm them down and help them not to worry, but to rely on God for things.
  • Pray. Pray for them. Pray with them. Tell them to pray over the situation. Stress is a response to worry, which is the opposite on reliance on God. Turn it back to him and the stress will relieve itself.

Matt: Each week in my high school small group we go around the room and talk about how their week has gone, and sometimes I sit there and think to myself that I don’t remember life being so stressful when I was a freshman in high school. Students today face way more pressure not only with school and sports but from their peers. Are they wearing the “right” jeans and the latest fashions. They get bombarded with messages from technology constantly. I only had television giving me input. Teens today have computers and smart phones and texting and can contact each other at a moment’s notice. Relationships start and literally end in a text message it seems. A high school student breaks up with their girlfriend and the first step is to change their relationship status on Facebook so EVERYONE knows whats going on with them.

We need to get students to give their problems up to God more and make that the first status change they make. We need to model that for them. We need to pray with them and show them how to ask God for direction and to realize that when God had them waiting, God has them growing.

Filed Under: Counseling, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , ,
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