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The Boys are Back in Town

May 23, 2013 by Leave a Comment

On Tuesday night, I did something I had never done before at my small group. Rather than my co-leader and me talking to the guys, we brought in 3 guys from our old small group to talk to them.

Returning small group guysA huge thing we’ve been trying to get across to our group is the idea of “the more you put into group, the more you’ll get out of group.” We can preach this all day long, but we can only tell the guys stories of past experiences. We thought what better way to get this idea across than to bring in 3 guys who have lived this out.

The cool part about the 3 we brought in was that they were the 3 who probably grew the most over the course of our last small group, but they all made a commitment to go all-in for God and small group at different times. One made that choice in the very beginning, one about halfway through and the other toward the end. Because they all had differing viewpoints, it was cool to see them talk about the decisions they made and how it impacted them in the long run.

The returning guys made a significant impact on our group. I had conversations right after group with some of my guys that were a direct result of what they talked about. Even cooler: it made me one proud small group leader to see our returning guys living out and talking about things we talked about when they were in my group before.

Filed Under: Cool stuff, Youth Ministry

Students are Getting Busier

May 21, 2013 by Leave a Comment

We all have busy lives. We have to juggle work, school, families, social lives, everything. We try to keep all the plates spinning, which sometimes leaves us with little to no free time. Students know this too, and they feel it like no other generation before them. Just last night I was talking to a student who has school every day, homework every night, churchy stuff a few times a week and sports (2 different teams). That’s insane! I can’t remember anyone being that busy when I was younger, but this seems to be the norm with our students these days.

I’ve noticed this among the students in my Life Group, who all seem to be involved in at least one sport (often more). As a result, they’re left with very little free time. They’re harder to communicate with, they have less time to meet at Starbucks or Taco Bell and they sometimes feel overwhelmed by it all.

I don’t know all the implications of this, but the biggest thing seems to be a lack of free time. It’s easier for a student to play off the “church stuff” for something “more important.” It’s also harder for us to get them to part with their precious free time to spend it with God or by serving others. The challenge I’ve seen this year is getting them to use their time to communicate with their leaders. There’s always something they can be doing, and our job is to help them realize where their time needs to be prioritized.

Filed Under: Culture, Youth Ministry

Where does Conviction Come From?

May 8, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Last week I was sitting in Starbucks when someone from our Children’s Ministry staff came in. She was the first person I ever volunteered with at church, so we go back quite a few years. We got to talking about the idea of conviction and how it affects what we do. She had read about conviction earlier that day in a devotional, and she was taking that idea and using it to challenge some of her younger Children’s Ministry volunteers to step up into a stronger role.

Her thoughts about conviction got me thinking a lot about the role it plays in my students. If I look at the guys who seem to have the strongest relationship with God–the ones who really get it–I see a stronger sense of conviction. They’re convicted to read their Bibles more, pray more, do things that are outside their comfort zone to grow in God. So where does this sense of conviction come from in them?

As I’ve looked more into this Christian use of the word “conviction,” I’ve found that it comes partly from the Greek word for “faith.” That would lead me to believe that conviction and faith go hand in hand. You can’t have conviction without first having faith. In those students I was talking about above, they have a faith that is strong and growing. Because of this, they also seem to have a stronger sense of conviction.

I know that’s just one idea that plays into the idea of conviction, so now I turn it to you. In your experience, where does conviction come from? Is it something that can be instilled in someone, or does it have to come about organically through a basis of faith?

Filed Under: Spriritual Life, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Last week was great… so, what happened this week?

May 2, 2013 by Leave a Comment

I seem to have discovered a pattern with my small group. Every once in a while, I’ll have a GREAT week with my group–they’ve opened up a ton, we’ve turned a new corner, decisions are made–I’m on a ministry high that week.

Then the next week totally falls flat.

This is a pattern that follows through almost every single time we have a great small group night. So, what the heck is causing it and how can I avoid it?

I think the biggest reason this happens is because there aren’t that many weeks that can be absolutely awesome. When one of those nights does happen, it stands so high above the rest that even if you compare a “good” night to it, the good night is going to be a letdown right after a great week.

Another reason could be that students recognize when a great week happens, so they don’t feel as much pressure to do the same thing the next week. They are the most critical factor in this whole process, so if they don’t participate as much, your next week isn’t going to be as awesome.

So how do we avoid the 2nd week letdown? I don’t know that it is completely avoidable. One of the things I had to do recently is go into the second week knowing that it probably wouldn’t be as great as the week before, and learn to accept that. Another thing is pray that the second week would be great despite an awesome week before. And last is prepare for the second week as if it will be as great as the week before.

What do you do to prepare for the week after an amazing week of ministry?

Filed Under: Encouragement, Small Groups, Youth Ministry

The First Year is About Building Relationships

April 30, 2013 by Leave a Comment

“@broadandy: @Coachshef it takes a year to build solid relationships with a student. Think with the end in mind.”

This is a tweet I saw last week, and I could not agree more with what he said. The first year with a group of students is all about building relationships.

In junior high ministry, I only get 2 years with a group of students. They’re only a part of my ministry for 2 years, and those years fly by as it is. What I’ve learned is that if you can spend the entire first year building great relationships with students, it will set you up for HUGE success in the next year. Since I want my ministry to be as fruitful as possible, of course I’m going to invest in my students relationally during the first year.

Here’s how I’m doing it with my small group:

  • Making prayer requests a priority. Rather than getting through a small group lesson and squeezing prayer requests into the last 5 minutes, I’m doing prayer requests first. It’s more important for me to hear about your life than the discussion we might have tonight.
  • Taking students out to dinner. My co-leader and I take a guy out to dinner every week before our small group. This is to get to know them and for them to get to know us. It also gives them a chance to talk about anything they don’t feel comfortable discussing in a group.
  • Creating a communication culture. We call our small groups “Life Groups,” because we do life together. A huge part of that is communicating outside of group, primarily through texting. I’m trying to train my guys to make communication a priority.

Those are 3 simple things, but we have to be willing to sacrifice that “great lesson about the doctrine of sanctification” for relationship building, at least during the first year.

Filed Under: Small Groups, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , ,

We are Cheerleaders

April 26, 2013 by Leave a Comment

When I was in high school, our school had a huge cheer team. They were at every football game, basketball game, soccer game (if it was big), pep rally–pretty much every major event. They would stand on the sidelines every game and cheer on the guys who were playing. It didn’t matter if we were down by 50 points or if we were killing the other team, they would cheer. Their job was to always be the motivators and the ones who were cheering on our team.

As I look back on our school’s cheer team, I can’t help but think about their role as a great model for youth workers.

I admit that I haven’t been great at this lately. My small group has shown me that they are a few steps ahead of our last group, so that’s gotten me really excited and I’ve been wanting to push further. I’ve been pushing them harder than I have with other groups and encouraging them to dig deep with things we’ve been talking about, but I haven’t been a good encourager. I can only imagine that when one of my guys gets a text from me, they think, “Crap, here we go again…” That’s not the reaction that should happen.

Last night I ended multiple conversations with some of my small group guys affirming who they are in God and how much I see in them. I’m hoping that if I keep that going, their reaction to a text from me will be more along the lines of, “Sweet, my leader is texting me,” not, “Where is the nearest toilet I can drop my phone into?”

How have you been a cheerleader in your students’ lives this week?

Filed Under: Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , ,

Making Small Group a Priority

April 24, 2013 by Leave a Comment

This post started out as a raging address to students (and parents) who don’t make coming to small group a priority in their lives. There are things like sports that get in the way and tend to win out over small group, and it’s frustrating

Then something happened.

I was humbled and amazed this week when one of my boys went from telling me on Monday that he wouldn’t be at group this week because he had a baseball game on Tuesday night (our small group night). The topic we were discussing was tremendously relevant to stuff in his life, so this was a huge letdown. Unfortunately in Orange County culture (and I’m sure we’re not alone in this), sports in JH and HS have become life-filling. This particular student has practice almost every day of the week and at least one game a week. It didn’t surprise me that he would choose baseball over small group because of our culture, but it definitely bummed me out.

Because of that, I did something I haven’t done before in 5 years of leading small groups: I asked him to miss a game. I emailed his mom telling her about how relevant this week would be to her son, and I asked if there was any way that he would be able to miss one game this season. She said she would talk to her son and her husband about it because she knew just how relevant this week would be.

Long story short, he made a decision to skip the game and come to group. I was SO proud because I know this was no small feat: he’s the star of the team, he loves baseball and he doesn’t want to let his coach down. I was amazed to see that he had thought it through and put small group ahead of baseball this week, and it ended up being an amazing week for him to come to small group.

Filed Under: Parent ministry, Small Groups, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

Responses That Are Too Good to be True

April 19, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Asking questions to gauge what a student is feeling or thinking is one of the best skills we can learn as youth workers. Whether it’s a thought related to a topic you’ve just discussed, a response to a tragedy or tough time, or if it’s just a general curiosity, there are many times when we need to evoke a response from a student.

At least in my ministry, there are two types of students: (1) your average, everyday student who has a solid foundation but is still learning things about his faith, and (2) the student who has grown up in a Christian family all his life, accepted Jesus as Lord as his first words, and whose parents are very actively involved in both church and the student’s life–we’ll call this one the super-Christian student. It seems like more often than not, the responses that come from the super-Christian students are the ones I tend to second-guess.

These students know what the right response should be. They know that when they’re going through a tough time, the “right” answer is, “Well you know, God has a plan for everything. He’s in control,” or, “I know everything will be okay in the end.” Sure, that might be the way he really feels, but I always have a voice in the back of my head that wonders if he is saying those things because he knows it’s the “right Christian answer.”

I’m not sure whether this is just cynicism, or if it’s a learned thought process from working with students for a few years. Either way, I think it’s a good thing for us all to keep in mind. There are times when we need to dig a little deeper below the surface to find the true feelings or thoughts from a student. They might be genuine with you all the time, but it’s worth taking a closer look to see if we can truly unearth what is happening in a student’s life.

Filed Under: Counseling, Youth Ministry

Almost Half of US Teens Have iPhones

April 17, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Last Tuesday, I ran across this article on an Apple news site I frequent. Feel free to follow the link, but the basic idea is that in a recent study, nearly half of US teens surveyed had an iPhone.

…so what does this tell us about our students, and how does it affect student ministry?

  • Students are big on brand recognition. Even as an iPhone user, I know there are “better” phones on the market than iPhones. If someone wants more technology in their pocket, they would get something different than an iPhone. To me, this says that students are more concerned with what their friends see them possessing than actually being an individual.
  • There are computers in every pocket. iPhones (or any smart phone) are basically tiny computers. They connect to the internet, they can send pictures, texts–huge amounts of information–to anyone. The other side of this is the accessibility to sites that students shouldn’t be visiting. They no longer need to hide these things on their family computers because their computer is always with them.
  • Students are more connected now than ever. This one kind of goes along with my previous point. Not only do they have computers in their pockets, but they are constantly connected to their friends. They are in a perpetual state of texting, waiting for texts, Skype’ing, FaceTime’ing… the list goes on. There is so much connection now compared to just 10 years ago, and that connection is significant.
Filed Under: Culture, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , ,

We’re Alive!

April 9, 2013 by 2 Comments

We’re back in action!

After some difficulties with domain names and web hosting stuff (both of which are way above my pay grade), we’re back online! We’ll be back to posting 5-6 times a week like before, so check back soon.

Filed Under: Uncategorized
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