You are here: Home / Archives for Mentoring

When God Calls You In A Different Direction

May 9, 2013 by 1 Comment

*Warning* this post contains a humble brag.

Last night our High School Ministry had all of the high school small groups meet together and before hand the leaders were treated to dinner as a way of saying thanks. It was good to see and talk with leaders that I had not seen since summer camp last year. As I looked around the room it dawned on me…there were three young leaders there who I have had in my past small groups. It was a cool feeling to realize that three guys who I had a small part of pouring into their lives are now pouring into the lives of students in their own small groups.

I think I’ve reached the stage of life where maybe God needs me more as a mentor and teacher than a small group leader. Don’t get me wrong I love the guys in my high school small group and I look forward to seeing them each week and talking with them and watching them grow in the faith and seeing God do great things in their lives. But I feel more and more I’m being called into more of a mentoring and “teach the teacher” arena. I’m always honored when other leaders come to me for help with a problem student, or how to handle a situation. I feel blessed that God has given me the gift of relating and communicating with teens and young adults.

I could write on and on about knowing and feeling God’s call in your life and when you’re entering a new season. I think it’s different for all of us. But I know for myself I feel more and more that God is moving me in a new direction in student ministry. It’s something I’ve been praying about daily and I think last night was God really showing me something. I can influence a few students being a small group leader, but I can influence a ton of students by mentoring and training leaders. I’ll keep praying on this and either way, I’m excited to see how God uses me next!

Filed Under: Counseling, Mentoring, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , ,

Working Ministry into our Everyday Lives

March 19, 2013 by Leave a Comment

It’s way too easy to do ministry.

Before I get shot by the youth ministry masses for my previous statement, let me explain. For those of us that are volunteers (and probably paid staff too), we do things every day that can become mundane or repetitive. We go to work, some go to school, others sit around all day watching TV and eating Doritos Locos tacos. Whatever you do, there are times when you can work ministry into your schedule.

Here’s an example from my day yesterday: I was working in the student building at my church, doing normal (read: boring) weekday stuff. There weren’t many students in the building, but I saw that one of my small group guys was there. He was playing video games, so I went over and told him to come hang out in my office if he got bored. Not five minutes later, he comes walking into my office. I took that as an opportunity to do some everyday ministry. I got up to walk around the building and do some work, so I asked if he wanted to walk with me. Next thing I know, we’ve been walking and talking (while I worked) for almost half an hour. It was probably the best conversation I’ve had with him this whole year.

Ministry doesn’t have to be hard. It’s easy to work students into our lives on a daily basis. If you’re going grocery shopping, pick up a student on the way and bring him along. If you’re washing your car, invite a student to come over (maybe get some free labor out of the deal), and then have lunch together. Letting students into your world goes a long way.

Filed Under: Mentoring, Youth Ministry Tagged With: ,

Don’t give up on that one student

August 29, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Right now I have a student that I’m discipling one on one. He’s no longer in my small group, but he has asked me to keep our relationship going to help him work through some stuff. This is the only guy in 4 years that I’ve agreed to do this for. He is a student that I connected with really well, and I see a lot of myself in who he is and where he’s at in his current life stage.

This student is someone that has given me my most glorious ministry successes, by the grace of God, but he’s also given me my most frustrating heartaches. He gets it one minute, then turns right back around the next. I may put him in a spot that breaks him out of his comfort zone and really feel like we’re getting somewhere, then he completely clams up and won’t talk to me for days. Despite our connection and the times of obvious work being done by God, the downsides can be extremely frustrating to the point of wanting to give up.

I think we probably all have that “one student” that fits this description. The one we pour into, only to be let down by a bad decision, one bad day, or even a complete turning away from their faith. These can be some of the most crushing blows in ministry.

But God has put this student in your life for a reason. Those of us in ministry have been given a huge responsibility to shepherd God’s flock, and that’s not always an easy task. But the fact remains–God has entrusted you with your students. Don’t give up. Don’t let discouragement turn you away from helping point students to God. One day you’ll break through and it will all be worth it.

Filed Under: Counseling, Encouragement, Mentoring, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

When to stop communicating

July 3, 2012 by Leave a Comment

This year I started a mentoring relationship with one of my small group guys. He was the one who had decided he wanted us to continue our relationship even after he moved on from my small group, so we have talked multiple times about what that looks like. Today that conversation changed course a bit.

A friend of mine who mentors many godly men told me that mentoring needs to be wanted more by the protégé than the mentor. The protégé should always be the one to ask the potential mentor if he would be willing to be a mentor in the protégé’s life, and this type of question will fuel future interactions.

Along those lines, I wanted to make sure my student knows how communication is going to work in our relationship going forward. He has a history of coming to me with a problem, me giving him a solution that involves regular communication, him following through with it for the first 2 or 3 days, then not hearing about it from him anymore. Today I told him that this type of communication can’t happen if he wants a mentoring relationship.

He has to be the one to initiate conversation. He should be the one checking in with me when he has temptations and needs extra prayer. He should be the one to start a discussion about a piece of advice he needs. Why? Because he needs to want this more than I do.

Question: Are the people you mentor taking initiative or letting you do all the work?

Filed Under: Mentoring, Youth Ministry

Some More Thoughts About Mentoring

June 8, 2012 by Leave a Comment

We’ve written before on this blog about the importance of mentoring in a student’s life. Unfortunately I think a lot of people assume that a mentor is an old gray-haired guy (or in my case a bald guy) who is at the end of his useful time on this earth and he is passing on his knowledge to a younger guy so that his lost craft or art does not die with him.

Mentoring is so much more than that. At Saddleback Church where Steven and I work, if you’re over 30 you are expected to mentor someone and if you’re under 30 you need to be mentored by someone. The concept is, “Every Paul needs Timothy and every Timothy needs a Paul.” I get that, and I totally agree with that. But here’s the problem with that- I think people in my age group who are mentoring someone don’t realize that they need a mentor as well.

Ironically one of the mentors in my life is younger than I am. Josh Griffin, our High School Pastor at Saddleback has taught me so much about relational student ministry and he has kept me on my toes and kept me always wanting to learn more. On the other side of this coin, if you’re younger and you have a mentor in your life that does not mean you can’t mentor someone younger than you. No matter where you are in life, you know more than someone and have life experience that can help someone else to grow.

Earlier this year I loved seeing Steven take on a mentoring relationship with one of the eighth grade guys in his junior high small group. (Click here to read Steven’s post.)This student will soon be moving on from Steven’s group but he is going to continue the mentoring process with this kid. Why? Because Steven saw a lot of himself at that age in this student and realized that he could help this student avoid some of the pitfalls that tripped him up when he got to high school.

This next school year I’m bringing on a co-leader to my high school small group and as part of the process he has asked me to be a mentor to him. Without hesitation I said, “Yes!” Well as I remember I practically yelled it, but I digress.

I could write all day about what I think about mentoring and its importance in everyone’s life but here’s the bottom line. Pass on what you know to the next generation. Learn from the previous generation, that’s the entire premise of our website. God wired us to always be learning and always be teaching.

 

Filed Under: Mentoring, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , ,

It’s never too early to start planning for fall

May 20, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Since it’s Monday, this would normally be a post that Steven and I would write together. Steven has finals this week so he’s taking some time to study. We’ll be back to our regular schedule next week.

This past week our junior high and high school ministries at Saddleback Church spent some time planning out the fall calendar. That might sound strange since it’s not even summer yet, but if you want to be effective and make sure that things don’t fall through the cracks you really need to plan for the future with enough time to fix any issues that might come up along the way. It made me start thinking about my new small group and what I want to do this fall. I’m going to have a new group and also a new co-leader, so here’s what I need to do before fall:

  • Spend some time with my new co-leader and establish with him what we want to accomplish with our new group and how we’re going to get there
  • I also am “mentoring” my new co-leader at the same time so I need to make sure I’m growing and stretching him at the same time
  • I want to spend some time with the former leaders of my new group so I can get to know some background on each of the new guys. And while this isn’t necessary, it sure gives you a head start with helping to grow students in their faith if you have a heads up on what life application lessons we need to go over.
  • I want to see where our High School Ministry is going this fall, what will be the weekend lessons, what do they want us to teach on.
  • I want to plan out some serve opportunities. That’s a huge way to help students grow their faith when you get them serving others.
  • I want to plan out some fun events with the new group. Those events help them bond with each other, and help bond you to them as well. It also lets them see you as a person, not just a leader. Nothing brings you down to their level faster than getting smacked in the side of the head with a dodgeball!

Question: Have you begun planning out your fall schedule for your student small group? Any good plans you want to share we’d love to hear them!

Filed Under: Mentoring, Small Groups, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

Student Ministry is in Good Hands

April 12, 2012 by Leave a Comment

I don’t pretend to have all the answers.  I love serving in student ministry but I also know there’s a lot of folks out there who are a lot smarter than I am. I do know that the techniques I use, work. I’ve seen several students change and grow in their relationship with God. I’ve watched students just get on fire for Jesus and I love it. I have wondered about the next generation and I used to be worried about the fate of student ministry, would the next generation be up to the task of spreading God’s message.

These past few months I don’t worry about that anymore. I’ve seen some pretty awesome leaders emerge lately. A month ago I stood at the back of the room and watched Steven as he led the lesson in our Junior High services. I know he’s good at teaching I just didn’t know how good until that weekend. I tell him all the time that he is going to make an awesome pastor but I was wrong. He already is an awesome pastor! I was proud standing back there and knowing that I played a small role in helping him realize that God was calling him to ministry and in his ultimate decision to change his major in college and move towards becoming a pastor. I’ve attached a picture from that weekend. I wish it was better quality but just know that Steven’s message was a lot better than this picture! This week I watched  with pride as Steven was one of the leaders on a local mission project that our Junior High ministry participated in for students this spring break. At Saddleback Church we have a lot of amazing young people who either volunteer or work in our student ministry. I’ve been blessed to watch several of them as they mature as Christians and at the same time they are helping younger students grow in their faith. Your church has young adults out there who may just need a mentor like you to help direct them and  develop their skills.

I also know there are a lot of “Steven Orel’s” out there and that God is preparing them for a career and calling in ministry. If you know one, reach out to them and use your experience and knowledge to help mentor them on their way. Whatever gifts and talents God has given you in this student ministry world you need to pass those on.  If you’re a “Paul” be a mentor to a “Timothy” in your church, by that I’m refering to the next generation. If you’re a “Timothy”, look for a “Paul”. For me it not only meant passing on some knowledge to the next generation, but has grown into an amazing friendship.

Filed Under: Mentoring, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Having an inner circle

March 29, 2012 by Leave a Comment

If we look at Jesus’ earthly ministry, what often comes to mind is the twelve disciples. These guys followed Jesus everywhere for 3 years, from the time he started his ministry until after he ascended into heaven. He taught them things, loved them, and probably most importantly, did life with them.

This kind of discipleship can be compared to how we do small groups in student ministry. We have a small group of students that we teach, love on, and do life with. Something I’ve been wrestling with recently is a piece of Jesus’ discipleship strategy that doesn’t get talked about much.

Within the Twelve, Jesus had an inner circle of 3 guys: Peter, John and James. The Bible doesn’t talk a lot about why these guys were special or chosen by Jesus to be closer to him, but they got to be with him at times when the others didn’t: the transfiguration, the healing of Jairus’s daughter and in the Garden of Gethsamane.

When I look at how I do small groups, I tend to want to spread myself out evenly among all the students in my group. It only seems fair to give everyone a fair shot and not have favorites, but is that really the right thing to do? If we look at Jesus’ example, no, it’s not.

One thing I’m trying differently this year is spending very intentional time discipling one of my guys. I see so much of my 8th grade self in this guy that I was drawn to lead him in a different way until he leaves my group and moves on to high school. Until I reflected on Jesus’ inner circle of disciples, part of me felt guilty for “playing favorites,” but I’m starting to realize that God puts certain students into your care for a specific reason, and there’s no way you can ignore it or not take responsibility.

Question: What’s your take on “playing favorites” or having an “inner circle” in your ministry? Post your thoughts here.

Filed Under: Counseling, Mentoring, Small Groups, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Discipleship and discipline

March 6, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Yesterday I was talking to someone, and the topic of discipline came up. The more I said the word, the more I realized how close it is to the word disciple. Right away I wrote it down so I could look it up later and see if there is any similarity.

disciple: a person who is a pupil or an adherent of the doctrines of another

discipline: training to act in accordance with rules

The similarity is definitely there. I think when most people hear the word discipline, they automatically consider it to be a negative. Parents discipline their kids, teachers discipline their students, etc. It’s usually used in a negative context.

When we think of discipling our students, do we shy away from disciplining them? Are we “training” them “to act in accordance with the rules” we want them to follow? I’m talking from a Christian ministry setting, so the “rules” are the way God calls us to live.

If we’re not able to discipline our students, we’re failing as leaders. We’re not giving them the proper training to live for God and expand his kingdom. The easy thing to do is let them go about their own way of doing things and not be confrontational, but someone seeking to develop a good disciple isn’t afraid to discipline.

Filed Under: Counseling, Mentoring, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

GUEST POST: Generation to Generation to Generation to Generation

February 10, 2012 by Leave a Comment

When I think of success in ministry, one of the students my (Steven) mind goes to is Troy. I met Troy as a 7th grader and had the privilege of leading him through junior high and handing him off to one of my friends in high school. Since 7th grade, Troy has grown astronomically in his faith and as a man of God. Even cooler, he is beginning to find his way in youth ministry. We asked Troy to write a little bit about his journey and how generational youth ministry has had an impact in his life.

My small group leaders have had a huge impact on my life. Whenever I’ve needed something or had a question they knew exactly what to say and really cared about what I had to say and really cared about me. When I left small group each week there wasn’t a complete separation until the next week, my leaders would text m to see how I was doing throughout the week which meant so much to me. But they also encouraged us as a small group to bond and be accountable for one another. Just because of that I have some of the best friends I’ve ever had who have helped me grow closer to God. My leaders have inspired me to lead a small group of my own, and im excited because when I look back I can see how instrumental my leaders were and how God used them in such an important way in my life, and it gives me hope that God will use me the same way they used my leaders in the generation that follows me.

Filed Under: Guest post, Mentoring, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , ,
«Older Posts