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“Your Identity is in Jesus”

January 7, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Matt: Helping students decide to find their identity in Jesus is one of the most important things we can do as student ministry leaders. When students place their identity in Christ, they don’t live compartmentalized lives. They are not different people depending on who they are hanging out with at the moment. They are a Christian at church as well as at school, with their friends or whatever they are doing. It’s not easy having different identities and trying to separate your life depending on the situation at the moment–I know, I’ve been there. I used to be that guy. When I finally made the decision to be a “Christ follower” all the time was when my spiritual life began to grow and my faith got stronger. I’m not perfect by any means, but I am way more secure in my identity now than I was when I was just a weekend Christian and my faith is much stronger.

When we emulate to students what an identity in Christ looks like, we are helping them develop their spirituality and grow in their faith. When we chose to be in this student ministry game, we all made the choice that we would live our lives to a higher standard. That we would be an example to students and that we don’t say one thing but act another way when we are not around students. In fact, I think students see right through you when that happens and they begin to doubt everything you’re telling them. But when we find our identity in Christ and students see what that life can look like, then we are being true role models and mentors to them. We’re being a “Paul” to a “Timothy,” we’re showing them the way and we’re helping spread and grow Christianity from generation to generation. A concept that we truly  believe in.

Steven: Having your identity rooted in Christ is one of the most difficult things for a student (read: anyone) to grasp. Humans are really good at putting our life in different categories depending on who we’re with, and Jesus can be represented in different ways to different people in different circumstances. My hope for the guys I’m with this year is to be able to embrace, or at least have knowledge and awareness of, their identity in Christ in all situations, no matter who they’re with.

As a junior high youth worker, this is one of the most difficult things to teach. 11-13 year olds are in a phase of trying to discover who they’re going to be, how they’re going to act, what kind of friends they’ll hang out with, everything. Their lives are largely determined in these junior high years. Knowing this, identity is a topic that comes up a lot with my students. It’s not just about living a life that is “moral” or “good,” but that you’re a consistent person in what your convictions and values are.

One of the questions I love to ask my students is, “Can people at school tell you’re a Christian by how you’re living your life?” The words at school can be replaced by at home, on the baseball field, at church, etc. Usually, the first time I ask this question to any student in my ministry, the answer is no. The cool part is seeing how that student responds and thinks about how they can change that answer.

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Helping students avoid peer pressure

July 9, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Steven: For something that is such a relevant topic in youth ministry, I’m surprised we haven’t written on this topic before. For junior high and high school students, peer pressure is probably one of the most difficult things they’ll deal with during their teenage years. In an age when finding their identities and looking “cool” are so important to them, peer pressure plays a major role in their decision making.

As leaders, how do we encourage our students to not give in to the constant pressure they face from their peers?

  • Teach that as Christians, our identities are found in Christ, not people. We don’t have to live with the constant pressure to please people–there’s only one person we really need to please.
  • Encourage those who don’t struggle as much with peer pressure to be a light. One of my students this year had an amazing gift of reaching out to his friends that were on a bad path. On several occasions, he stepped way out of his comfort zone to tell a few of his friends that what they were doing was wrong. It was such a great teachable moment and a time to encourage my other students to do the same.
  • Teach truth. The more our students are brought up to know the Bible and are shown how to live more like Jesus, the less they will WANT to give in to peer pressure.

Matt: We all can be victims of peer pressure, but I think junior high and high school years are the times we are most driven to act based on peer pressure and what others will think of us. Teens stumble and fail to live a biblical life when they forget that pleasing God should be number one in their lives and worry more about pleasing their friends or being popular.

One way we can help students avoid the pitfalls of peer pressure is be the best example in our lives for them. Don’t just tell them how they should act, show them. Let every aspect of your life be an example to them. In other words, don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk. Another way is to make sure your small group has accountability partners.

Last but certainly not the least is to have lessons for your group that explain to them that often times peer pressure leads to sin and leads them to move away from God instead of closer to God. It’s easy to fall into the trap of saying, “Well everyone is doing it.” That still does not make it right or biblical. A moment of giving into peer pressure and sinning is not worth the guilt and other effects that can come from a bad action and have lasting negative results. Popularity is fleeting and to give in to peer pressure because you’re afraid of what your friends will think can lead to lasting pain later in life. Been there done that. Use your past mistakes as a lesson for students.

Filed Under: Spriritual Life, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , ,

Retro Friday // Bumper Sticker Jesus

September 16, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Here’s a post we did for Josh Griffin at morethandodgeball.com  You can check out the original post here.

Do we show our love for Jesus in a “bumper sticker” or in how we live our life? Either way, its the example we are showing students.

Driving on the freeway today I saw a bumper sticker that said, “No Jesus, No Peace…Know Jesus, Know Peace.” Cute, I thought to myself. But it made me think, am I showing students how to love and praise and worship Jesus in bumper stickers or in the way of living my life? Bumper stickers get right to the point, but I want to be an example to students, not in sound bytes, but in the way I act in all situations. When it comes to words, I’m good and witty and clever, it’s one of my spiritual gifts. But I don’t want students to think that “God is my Co-Pilot.” He’s the pilot. Period. I’m not even worthy of being the guy who cleans the plane after a flight. Students need to see that when I get angry, I don’t start spewing a ton of four-letter words, when hard times come my way, I still praise God for what is good and try not to dwell on the bad.

I used to be the “bumper sticker Jesus” guy. I knew the right things to say, but usually didn’t put them into practice. I knew about tithing, but didn’t, I knew about prayer, but usually waited until I was in a bind before I would turn to God in prayer. I knew about the need for a quiet time everyday, but I seldom made the time for one. I’m happy to say I’m not that guy anymore. If I go a day without a quiet time I feel it, I begin to feel disconnected and I don’t like how that feels. I’ve learned to pray throughout the day, not just in the morning or when I go to bed. I want to help students by-pass the “bumper sticker Jesus” time in their life and have them put good, solid ways of worship and praise into their lives. I want to be a good example.

It’s not just about saying the right things at the right time. It’s necessary to live out what you talk about with your students. I can say “love your neighbor,” but if I don’t live that out, what good is it? It not only pushes me backward as a Christian, it shows my students that I don’t really care about what I’m teaching them. If I don’t care, why should they? Is it easy to tell people what they should do and then continue living our lives the way we want? Absolutely. But it’s not what we’re called to do. Maybe you’re not realizing that you do this. Now is the time to evaluate: am I a “bumper sticker” Christian, or am I someone that people know live out God’s Word in my life every day?

 

What are some steps you take to make sure you’re more than just a “bumper sticker” Christian?

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Do we spend too much time serving Jesus instead of being with him?

July 25, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Don’t spend all your time doing things FOR Jesus and not spending time WITH Jesus.

Steven: The trap that we’re talking about today is something I feel a lot of youth workers run into. Especially if you absolutely love what you do, you probably want to spend all your time with students or thinking about students or thinking about how to make your ministry better. Even as a volunteer, I find my mind consumed with youth ministry at times.

The trap comes when we spend more time serving Jesus through ministry or other things that are for Jesus, and we don’t spend time with Jesus.

A time has to come for us when we realize that God is the most important thing we have to pay attention to. Everything else must be secondary, even if that means our youth ministry time. It’s a great thing that we’re serving the Lord and realizing what He wants us to do, but more than anything, He wants a relationship with us. When we fail to meet with Him and spend time doing things for him, we’re neglecting the relationship. Just like on earth, if you neglect a relationship, it will start to diminish.

This is especially important for me to remember as a student in biblical studies. I am constantly learning about theology and the Bible, but sometimes I get so busy learning about God that I don’t spend time with Him. I put more effort into studying for tests or reading something before my next class that I leave God out.

If you have too many serving opportunities to spend time with the Lord every day, it might be time to cut something out. It doesn’t take much to spend time with God every day, but you do need to intentionally set time aside. Don’t be too busy doing God stuff that you leave God out.

Matt: One of the pitfalls to working for a church, especially a mega-church, is that it’s very easy to get caught up in doing so much good stuff and serving others that you forget to take care of yourself. I’m guilty of that. In the process we forget that it’s also very important that we spend time WITH Jesus as well as SERVING Jesus. We need to make sure that as student ministry workers and volunteers that we are taking the time to re-charge our spiritual batteries. This includes regularly attending a worship service as well as a daily quiet time with God.

If your life is so busy that you can’t find time to have some quiet time with God everyday, then you’re too busy. You can’t be an effective student ministry worker if you’re not spending time with God on a daily basis. I preach to my small group students about the importance of a daily quiet time with God. If i’m not doing that myself then I’m not being honest with then. I want to lead them by example, not by the old “do as I say, not as I do.”  I think students can see right through you when you do that and you lose all credibility with them.

Spending time with God everyday helps keep you spiritually healthy and ready for anything that comes your way. I want that spiritual armor that God’s Word provides me. You also need to spend time in prayer throughout the day. You don’t need to stop and dim the lights and have absolute silence to pray. I’ll think about a student going through a hard time or some issue that I’m dealing with, and I’ll go to God right there and then. I don’t just pray at bed time and meal times. We should also teach our students that. God wants you to communicate with him all day everyday not just when you have a few free moments for Him.

Filed Under: Spriritual Life, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Serving, Spritual gifts and Student Ministry Part Two

June 29, 2011 by Leave a Comment

This is part two in our series on getting students involved serving in a ministry.

Yesterday I talked about how serving in a minustry helped to strengthen my connection to God. Today I talk about getting your students involved.

First, we have to model to students what it means to serve in ministry, we need to show them how we have grown closer to God through serving. I have had several students in my high school small group begin serving in a ministry and it’s awesome to watch how God works in them once they find their nitch, that one ministry made just for them. They have found ministries where they have a talent and love for something, and have begun putting it to use for God, and their church. I have watched first hand as they grow more and more connected to God. The important thing is for you to teach them to find a ministry that not only interests them but that God had given them the talents for.

At Saddleback Church, we use the acronym “S.H.A.P.E.” which stands for Spiritual gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality and Experiences. If you chose a ministry that you are not gifted for, don’t have a heart for it, no abilities etc. you probably will not be successful at what you want to accomplish. For instance I love to sing, but I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, God has not blessed me with the spiritual gift of singing, so joining the choir is probably not going to work for me. But if you find a ministry where you have God-given talents and you love what you do, you’re going to be very successful and love what you’re doing. Its just like your job, if you hate it, if you’re not good at it, you will fail miserably, but if you’re doing something you love and that you are good at, then it’s not a job at all and you look forward to it.

It might take you or your students two or three different ministries before you find the one that is a “fit”. That’s okay, I have had volunteers serve in my ministry and they might have been doing an okay job at it, but they have come to me to tell me they are moving on to a different ministry, something they have more interest or talent. That’s great, I always tell them I’ll miss them in my ministry but I’m super happy they found something that is more their style, or skill or heart.

Here’s the bottom line, if we don’t model a serving  behavior to students they might not get it, and they would be missing out on a huge part of what being a Christian is. In fact the Bible tells us to serve; we are helping them to carry out God’s word for their lives.

QUESTION: Do you encourage your students to get involved in a serving ministry?

Filed Under: Encouragement, Spriritual Life, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

Serving, Spiritual Gift and Student Ministry

June 28, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Today’s post is the first of a two-part series on helping your students find their spiritual gifts and begin serving in a ministry.

One of the easiest ways to get a student more connected to God, to your student ministry program, and to your church is to get them involved serving in a ministry. Speaking on a personal note, that’s when everything changed for me. I was a regular church attendee; I was there every week (and because of my OCD, sitting in the same seat each week). I would enjoy the message, enjoy the worship, and feel good for most of the day. Then slowly during the week, I’d slip back into old habits, and not be very connected to God at all during the week. Then the weekend would come around, I’d be back in church, feeling good and connected, and then within a couple of days after that, I’d be right back where I was. I was caught in a cycle. I knew something had to change, I wanted to be more connected and closer to God and make him more of a presence in my life, I just didn’t know how.

About this time I got involved in a small group for the first time. That was my first step at a closer connection to God. Soon after I joined the group we began a service project in the local community. From that point on I was hooked, I loved volunteering, I love doing something where I was serving others. I loved the fact that I was doing something for someone else and not for myself. That later led to me becoming a volunteer with Saddleback Church’s High School Ministry program. I quickly realized that God had given me gifts and talents to work with and talk to high school students. I was doing this for the students, but I also realized that God was further blessing my life as well. (Just another sign that you cannot out give God!) The more connected I became the more I got involved in things like a daily quiet time with God. I moved from my nice secluded quiet seat in the bleachers of our worship center to a closer seat down on the main floor. No longer did I attend worship service and have that “recharged” feeling last for just a day, it began lasting all week.

TOMORROW: We’ll look at ways to to get your students connected to serving in a ministry, and finding their gifts and abilities.

Filed Under: Spriritual Life, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , ,

A Student Says Thank You

June 22, 2011 by 2 Comments

 I actually had a different post written for today. Don’t worry you can read that one later in the week. Today I had an experience that I wanted to share on the blog while it was fresh in my mind. I have talked in the past two weeks about the fact that most of my high school small group is graduating this year, and I hope I’ve done all I can do to prepare them for the road ahead. Today I was invited to a lunch for one of my students who are graduating. His mother invited myself and my co-leader and she wanted to acknowledge the contribution we had made to her son’s life. I thought that was really cool of her and quickly accepted. The lunch was also held at one of my favorite pizza joints but I digress.

This morning she text me and asked if I would mind saying a few words about her son and our experience together. This is where I need to tell you that “shy” or “bashful” are words that have never been used to describe me, I have no trouble at all speaking in front of people and I was honored that she asked. Right before I was going to say something, her son handed me a card and asked that I read it. The card was a thank you from him and the words he put in the card were amazing. I’m not usually an emotional person but I was quickly reduced to tears. He and I have grown close over the past two years and the words he used to thank me really made me realize, “Here’s a kid that my co-leader and I have made a difference in his life”. Not that I didn’t know that, but I think sometimes I forget about stuff like that.

I don’t write this as a way of saying, “Hey, aren’t I amazing”. I’m writing this to remind other student ministry leaders, volunteers and myself as well, that God will place you in a student’s life to make a difference. It’s not a coincidence; it’s something that God planned a long time ago. How you handle the experience is up to you. We need to be the examples, the encouragers, and the assistant to parents who want to bring up Godly kids and the supplement to kids whose parents are not church attendees or believers.

One day we all are going to be standing in front of God, and he’s going to ask, “I put Student X in your life, what did you do with him?” I want to be able to say I did all I could to promote his spiritual growth, help him through the awkward years and help him work out any problems in life and deal with his hurts, habits and hang ups. Today’s thank you note was a reminder to me of the huge effect we can have on students.

Are you doing all you can to be the role model/mentor/teacher/Jesus follower/encourager that you need to be?

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Retro Tuesday // Leadership Living

May 10, 2011 by Leave a Comment

This is the third week in a series called Generation to Generation we wrote for Dennis Beckner’s blog, VolunteerYouthMinistry.com. The original post can be found here.

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We can’t ask that our students live a life that is Christ-centered if we as leaders are not willing to model what that kind of life looks like. We haven’t put God first if we aren’t loving Him with all our heart, mind, and soul. The best way for students to learn how to do that is to see their leaders doing it first. It’s important for us to model what that kind of life looks like because, for some of the students we come into contact with, they’ve never seen what that’s like. For some people, our lives are the only Bible they’re ever going to read, so are we going to waste that opportunity by living the way we want, or living the life that God wants us to live?

“Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit.” Matthew 12:33

Steven: The verse from Matthew (above) is about how we show other people our lives. Everything we do on the outside reflects what our character is like on the inside. If we have a Christ-centered life, which most of the people reading this blog should have, it’s up to us to make sure that what we’re showing on the outside matches what we have on the inside. It’s easy for us to live the way the world wants us to live, but as leaders in youth ministry we have to hold ourselves to a higher standard. I can’t expect the boys in my junior high small group to live up to what I’m teaching if I don’t do it myself. When it comes to youth ministry, or any teaching for that matter, there cannot be a “do as I say, not as I do” mentality. The goal of the series that Matt and I are writing right now is to portray how to be an example to students; this is the best way to do it. If we just follow the example Christ set for us, we can’t go wrong.

In my earlier years in high school, I hadn’t quite decided that I wanted to live my life completely for God. I was still doing things my way. Sometimes that corresponded with the way Christ lived, but most often it didn’t. By doing things my way, I thought that’s what would make me happy, but it wasn’t until I made the conscious choice to live for God that I realized what true happiness is. That is exactly what I want to portray to the students I come into contact with. They might think they know what is going to make them happy now, but just like I did, they’ll come to find out that living God’s way is the only way to find true happiness. We need to be the template for them to follow so that they can learn to live the way God wants them to.

Matt: My life wasn’t always lived according to the Great Commandment to love the Lord with all my heart, mind, and soul. I lived my life according to what was best for me. For me, my American Idol was the hood ornament on a new car every two years. I thought that’s what brought true happiness to my life, but wow was I wrong. Once I realized that not putting God first wasn’t bringing me the true happiness I wanted for my life, I decided I needed to make a course correction in my life. It meant putting God first. Period. I had to make loving God part of my everyday life, in my work life, in my relationships, and in every other part of my life.

As a student ministry leader, I’d love to be able to help my students avoid all of the pain and suffering I experienced later in life because of bad decisions I made as a teenager. Is it easy for today’s teens to live a Christ-centered life? NO! Temptation is all around them. My hope is that by sharing my experiences and the resulting pain later in my life I have equipped them to know they have a choice. Go with God, or go against God. They have the choice to say no to worldly temptations, focus on Jesus, and make the right decision. Life is about choices, I want my students to be well equipped to make the right decision. I want them to see my life now as an open book; I don’t have to hide anything because I’m not embarrassed about anything I do. I want them to see my life as the example, as the way to live their lives and achieve true, deep down, Christ-centered happiness in their lives.

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