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When God Calls You In A Different Direction

May 9, 2013 by 1 Comment

*Warning* this post contains a humble brag.

Last night our High School Ministry had all of the high school small groups meet together and before hand the leaders were treated to dinner as a way of saying thanks. It was good to see and talk with leaders that I had not seen since summer camp last year. As I looked around the room it dawned on me…there were three young leaders there who I have had in my past small groups. It was a cool feeling to realize that three guys who I had a small part of pouring into their lives are now pouring into the lives of students in their own small groups.

I think I’ve reached the stage of life where maybe God needs me more as a mentor and teacher than a small group leader. Don’t get me wrong I love the guys in my high school small group and I look forward to seeing them each week and talking with them and watching them grow in the faith and seeing God do great things in their lives. But I feel more and more I’m being called into more of a mentoring and “teach the teacher” arena. I’m always honored when other leaders come to me for help with a problem student, or how to handle a situation. I feel blessed that God has given me the gift of relating and communicating with teens and young adults.

I could write on and on about knowing and feeling God’s call in your life and when you’re entering a new season. I think it’s different for all of us. But I know for myself I feel more and more that God is moving me in a new direction in student ministry. It’s something I’ve been praying about daily and I think last night was God really showing me something. I can influence a few students being a small group leader, but I can influence a ton of students by mentoring and training leaders. I’ll keep praying on this and either way, I’m excited to see how God uses me next!

Filed Under: Counseling, Mentoring, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , ,

Caleb and Timothy

September 24, 2012 by 1 Comment

This weekend our pastor preached on the roles of people in different generations, such as Caleb and Timothy. One is from an older generation and the other from a younger generation, but both played strategic parts in expanding God’s kingdom. As we reflected on the message, we realized that our ministries, as well as this blog, coincide with the idea of a Caleb and Timothy generational model.

Matt (Caleb): I see my role as a “Caleb” as not just that of mentor and encourager but also as helping the next generation to equip themselves for their role in God’s plan. Not long after Steven and I started this website I found that other younger student small group leaders would come to me for advice with a problem or something as simple as, “How do I build a solid trusted relationship with my students?” While I was flattered that they came to me, I also knew that my life experiences and my career in law enforcement had shaped me for what I was doing now. It was no accident, God had spent years sharpening my skills. He was just waiting for me to use them for the Kingdom.

I also see my role as helping the next generation to not make the same mistakes and mis-steps that I had made. I want them to learn from my experience without the trouble and heartache I had experienced. This is when I realized that a lot of what I went through had a purpose and I could use my mistakes to help others. In my encourager role, I need to help the next generation to keep going when they think they can’t go any farther, I need to help them not give up on a student that they think they have tried everything and nothing is working. My role is to keep an open mind and help them do the same.

Steven (Timothy): As part of the Timothy generation, I play a similar, yet different role. As part of the “younger” generation, I play a part in the church that is an effort to expand the kingdom. While the Calebs have taken on a role of responsibility and mentoring, Timothy’s are the beneficiaries of that mentoring and encouraging. We are being poured into by the Calebs, and in turn that enables us to use our creative and outside-the-box thinking to benefit God and the church. Our energy is also something that propels God’s kingdom forward.

In a ministry sense, Timothy’s are every bit as important as Calebs. The older generation has a ton of life experience and wisdom about certain situations that Timothy’s don’t always have, but there’s a benefit to youthful energy, especially in youth ministry. It’s not the total package by any means, but it does help relate to students and show that just because you’re showing them God’s design for their lives, you can still relate to them on a personal level.

Filed Under: Spriritual Life Tagged With: , , , , ,

Starting a mentoring relationship

May 22, 2012 by 1 Comment

This year, there is one student in my 8th grade group that I’ve had a strong connection with. Part of the draw is that I see a lot of 8th grade Steven in this guy, so I know his personality and what his strengths and struggles are. He has tremendous potential to grow into an amazing young man after God’s own heart. Over this past year, we’ve had a faux-mentoring relationship, but it has never been something we’ve talked about straight out.

Since he’s going to be transitioning out of my small group in a few weeks, I wanted to let him know that I was available to him if he chose to keep this relationship going. Here’s the most important thing I told him:

I think what we’ve started is great and it seems like it has helped you, but YOU need to want to make it happen way more than I do.

This is super important when starting a mentoring relationship:

  • First, let the person know that you’re available to them. If I hadn’t told this guy that I was available to him as a resource, he may have never known that I was open to mentoring him.
  • Let them be the one to start the process. I told him earlier this week to be thinking about what he wanted our relationship to be. We talked later and decided this would be the best way to move forward.

Being a mentor can (and will) be as beneficial for you as it is for the mentee. Who is someone you can make yourself available to in order to start a mentoring relationship?

Filed Under: Counseling, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Following up with former students from your small group

January 9, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Matt: Just because your students have graduated high school, does that mean your responsibility as their leader and mentor has ended? My answer to that is NO! Last night I spent some time talking to one of my students who graduated last year. I’ve watched Shea continue to grow in his faith and just become on fire for God over the past few months. He recently was chosen as a “roadie” for Invisible Children. This is an organization that Shea has become passionate about since returning from a mission trip in Africa last year. I have another former student who is now a co-leader of a high school group with a friend of mine. Parker was always the “pastor” in my small group and the guys knew they could talk to him about anything, and I used to love to watch him pray with his friends. Some of my former students have gone off to college and moved out of the area. It was great seeing them over the Christmas holiday recently. I’ve lost contact with a few of them and I really want to spend some time seeing if I can reconnect.

God did not place us in these students’ lives to just be there for three of four years and then forget about them. Unfortunately some of these students have experienced situations like that all their lives, parents or other adults coming in and out of their lives. I don’t want to be just one more adult who disappoints them. If your students have gone off to college, help them find a church in the area where they are moving. Keep in contact by text or e-mail, let them know you still care. Going off to college in a new town and leaving all your friends behind can be scary, so let your students know you are a constant in their life and they can still come to you for help and advise.

Steven: One of the hardest things I have to do as a junior high small group leader is let my boys move on to high school. I get super attached to my groups after 2 years, but that’s all the time I have with them. But the good thing about this is I still get to see them around the church or at other places from time to time. Unlike having seniors graduate, my guys are still around and I can see them and keep up a relationship with them.

One of the coolest things I’ve had the pleasure of doing in several years of ministry is building up mentoring relationships with a select few of my small group guys. I say “select few” because there are definitely some that just click better with my personality, or they have experiences that match ones I’ve had in the past, or there’s just more effort put into the relationship. Even though they’ve moved on from my ministry, I still get to see them once in a while and be a guide for them in life. This does 2 things:

  1. Eases some of the difficulty in only having 2 years to minister to them as junior highers
  2. Encourages continued growth from multiple sources – their past and present small group leaders

With this does come a bit of tension. Even though it’s great for students to get help in as many ways as possible, I don’t want to overstep my boundaries and take away from that student’s relationship with their current small group leader. Luckily I’ve passed my former guys on to someone that I consider a friend and he keeps me informed of their spiritual lives and things that happen, but I never want him to feel like I’m taking away from his time with the guys.

I would encourage any leader who’s in youth ministry for more than a couple years to consider hanging on to a student or 2 and continue a mentoring relationship after their “official” time in your ministry has passed. It will benefit both of you, and it’s a way to show the love and leadership of Christ.

Question: How do you stay connected to students that have passed through your ministry? Tell us here.

Filed Under: Mentoring, Small Groups, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

GUEST POST: Generational Youth Ministry

October 21, 2011 by 2 Comments

Kevin, Kyle and Eric are 3 names that immediately come to mind when I think about generational youth ministry. I was their small group leader and they, in turn, went on to also serve in some capacity as youth workers. Kevin is an active junior high small group leader, Kyle served as a summer intern for our high school ministry, and Eric has been a camp counselor.

While that’s pretty cool, it’s also kind of sad that I’ve been in youth ministry since 1994 and can only count 3 students who have served in youth ministry. I learned something along the way that changed the way I work with students. If I hadn’t learned this, even those 3 probably would not have served in youth ministry.

The Bible is has amazing examples of mentoring skills; people raising others up for the work of God. Our mission as youth workers is about more than raising up a crop of believers. We need to raise up a crop of believers who serve. This takes more skill and intentional contact than teaching a weekly Bible study.

To raise up a crop of believing servants, youth workers must:

- Watch for potential: You can’t mentor every student. Look for the ones who are open to being molded, eager to serve, and are, on some level, dedicated to God. These students aren’t perfect, necessarily skilled or even popular. They are, however, full of potential, and almost select themselves – they’re not difficult to spot because they’re already exhibiting these characteristics

- Let students behind the scenes: Let them in on the decisions that need to be made, what you’re trying to accomplish, and how it will benefit the cause of Christ. Get their input and talk through options. This will teach students critical thinking while allowing them to take ownership in ministry

- Plant seeds of service: ”When you’re a small group Bible study leader…”, “When you’re a college student facing temptation and standing firm on your faith…”, “When you’re a parent and your teenager does that…” I speak seeds of service into my students’ lives frequently. I want them to see themselves as serving Christ in every area of their lives. Some of them, like Kevin, Kyle and Eric, will even translate that into serving students.

- Pass the torch: Currently, I’m working with a student who graduated from our ministry a few years ago. While he wasn’t in my small group, I’m still grooming him to be a small group leader. He served as my co-leader last year. We’ll spend one more year together, then he’ll be on his own. I’m passing the torch to him by doing all of the above with him. He’s rough around the edges, but we’ve made a lot of progress in the last year. He’s going to be a great youth worker.

At the beginning of summer, I happened upon an all nighter Kevin (former small group student) was throwing for his junior high small group. It was so great to see him loving on what amounted to my youth ministry grandkids. I had never met those students before that night, but they were very bonded with Kevin. It was an incredibly rewarding youth ministry experience to see him impacting another generation like I impacted him.

I started this post by saying it’s sad that I can only name 3 of my students who are in youth ministry. It took me a long time to learn the actions I mentioned in this post. The good news, if you’re a new youth worker, is you can learn these earlier than I did and see a return sooner of students becoming adults who minister to students.

The rewards of youth ministry aren’t always in words. Many times it’s in seeing the evidence that something you said or did is impacting others through former students. These are the best years of ministry.

Dennis Beckner is one of our dear fellow youth workers, director of The Landing at Saddleback Church, and all-around good guy. Be sure to show him a little love by following him on Twitter and checking out his blog.

Filed Under: Guest post, Mentoring, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , ,