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Rainy Days Help us Appreciate Sunny Days or Why do we want to state the obvious?

October 11, 2012 by Leave a Comment

It’s raining this morning in Southern California, something it doesn’t do very often but when it does, it’s usually the lead story on all the local news channels. I have no doubt that right at this moment we are probably on “Storm Watch 2012”. I looked at my Facebook feed a few minutes ago and counted 31 status updates letting me know it’s raining outside this morning.

Why is this something everyone feels they need to let everyone else know about? The first reason is what I said above, it doesn’t rain here all that often, so it’s a change from the norm. We always want to tell people about change. The second reason we want to tell everyone is because we think it’s something no one else knows. Apparently a lot of my friends didn’t realize I could just look out my window and discover it was raining, or that I would be driving 28 miles this morning on rain-soaked freeways that creep along at 20 miles per hour.

I look at rain this way. God gave us rainy days to help us appreciate the sunny days. If all we had were sunny days then after a while we just take that for granted. It’s the same thing with life. If all we had were good times and no problems then we would not appreciate all the gifts that God has given us. A little bump in the road makes us pause and think about all the other things we have to be thankful for. And just like that, I realized I had created a lesson on appreciating the little things in life for my small group guys.

Question: Do you use everyday life situations and events to create lessons for your students?

Filed Under: Cool stuff, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

Take the Good with the Bad

October 4, 2011 by Leave a Comment

In the past three years I’ve discovered that student ministry can be an amazing experience, filled with a ton of joy but also with some tough times. I rejoice when my guys are doing well or I see them growing stronger in their walk with God, but it makes me sad when I see them going through a hard time or having problems at home. Sometimes students don’t realize that God is all they need until God is all they have!

This week I got a text from one of my guys asking for prayer for a tough situation at home. I took time right when I got his text to pray for him. As a side note, if you tell your students that you’re going to pray for them…DO IT! Don’t wait, don’t run the risk of forgetting, don’t say you will and then you don’t do it. I think that’s one of the ways that we blaspheme these days – someone tells us about a problem they are having and we tell them, “I’ll pray for you.” And then we don’t.

As I was starting to pray for my student and the situation he was in I thought to myself, “How awesome it is that we can take all this stuff to God in prayer.” With student ministry you take the good with the bad, and hopefully you have a lot more good than bad. But when the bad times come, prayer should be one of your first weapons that you turn to in order to find a solution to the problem.  My personality is such that I’m a “fixer”. I want to fix their problem and I want it fixed right now. I have to tell myself that God is in control, ask for His help and then realize that the solution is on God’s timetable not mine.  That doesn’t mean that I’m going to just sit around and do nothing, I’m going to make sure that student knows I’m here for him and that he is loved.

Pray, and pray hard and make sure your students are doing the same.

Filed Under: Spriritual Life, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , ,

What’s really bothering you? Tell Me Now!

September 21, 2011 by Leave a Comment

After my high school small group met a couple of weeks ago, I got a text from one of my guys and later he and I talked on the phone for almost an hour. He had an issue and he didn’t know what to do and didn’t know who to turn to for some advice. I was able to answer his question and give him some advice and pray for him in about fifteen minutes and the rest of the conversation I realized that he had some other issues that is he is not quite ready to talk about, but I feel confident that when the time is right he will come  around for some spiritual guidance and help.

I had to fight back the urge to ask him, “What’s really bothering you? TELL ME NOW!” I came close but it dawned on me that he is not ready yet to talk about a big issue that is going on in his life with his family. If you push too hard you run the risk of a student not being comfortable in talking with you. If I had known him longer I probably would have pushed it. But this is a student that I’ve only known since July when he was in my cabin at high school camp.

However this is not to say, I just rolled over and didn’t say anything. I let him know that I can tell there is more on his mind than what we just talked about, and I let him know five simple words. “I’m here when you’re ready”.

I think for students going through a tough time, half the battle is just knowing that someone is there for you, someone cares and someone will be there to support them during turbulent times in their life.

As a student ministry leader, that’s what you need to be in a student’s life. Doug Fields just wrote an awesome post on his blog about small group leaders from a “Dad’s prospective”. (Check it out here) 

Sometimes you’re just the guy who is there for them when they need some extra help.

If you’re a small group leader, are you that person for your students?

Filed Under: Small Groups, Volunteer ministry, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

Past Troubles Can Be An Opportunity Today

August 30, 2011 by Leave a Comment

2 Corinthians 4:17 – The little troubles we suffer now for a short time are making us ready for the great things God is going to give us forever. 

During my quiet time last night I was reading 2 Corinthians and for some reason chapter 4 verse 17 kept standing out to me for two reasons. I know personally, I let little things upset me way too much; I need to remember this verse. The second reason it stood out to me was it made me think about troubles and how we deal with them. Do we let them control us or do we use them as a life lesson and move on? If you’re a student ministry worker, past troubles in your life can be powerful tools when you’re helping a student go through similar circumstances.

In the Japanese language, the same word that means catastrophe also means opportunity. Troubles are an opening that God uses in our lives to bring about change and can help us to serve and minister to students.

Let me give you an example: Steven and I have a good friend named Rick  who serves as a small group leader in the High School Ministry at Saddleback Church. Rick overcame a drug addiction problem years ago and now he specializes in helping teens who have addiction problems. He is a leader in The Landing, a program we have at Saddleback Church for teens who are dealing with hurts, habits and hang ups (you can find more information about The Landing here).

Rick is a Christian who has a firm, strong walk with God. Rick uses the past troubles in his life to help students. This year at high school camp, four of the students in his small group stepped across the line, accepted Christ into their lives and were baptized. Like many others at camp that day, I stood there with tears in my eyes watching those guys get baptized. I know what a rough road those students have had, but God put Rick into their lives. Rick lets God use him to get to these teens and it’s awesome to watch him in action.

We can all take a lesson from Rick. Don’t hide from your past, don’t be embarrassed, don’t try and cover it up. Use that hurt! Think about what it would have meant to you when you were a teenager going through a tough time. What if you had a loving, caring adult you could trust and confide in and that person would use their past hurts and experiences to help you get through your problems, and help you to grow your relationship with Jesus Christ.   Would that have made a big difference in your life?

Are you using the problems in your past to help students with their problems today?

Filed Under: Small Groups, Spriritual Life, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , ,

Is there a storm brewing in your Small Group?

July 14, 2011 by Leave a Comment

 

This morning I was watching a weather report and the reporter was talking about a big storm that was brewing in the mid-west. When they showed a satellite view you could see something big was happening. If you lived in that part of the country a weather report can warn you of a problem heading your way and you have some time to take action.

Sometimes as leaders, WE are the satellite view, we can see a problem in a small group or with an individual student starting to brew and how we handle that can be the difference between rain showers or a huge thunderstorm. If you see an issue starting between two members in your small group you can either ignore it and hope it goes away or you can sit the two students down and address the problem. I think you all will agree with me, it almost never just goes away on its own.

I have dealt with conflict between two students by sitting them both down in a room and I act as the moderator. I tell them what I have noticed and tell them that now is the time for us to correct this before the divide between them gets even bigger. This is also the biblical way of handing conflict. Once you get them talking you usually can just sit back and let the problem work itself out between them. If the students are not ready or willing to talk I ask open ended questions of them to get them talking.  I ask questions that can’t be answered with “yes” or “no”. These type of questions will stimulate the discussion. The key is to get them talking. Usually the problem is something tiny that got blown way out of proportion.

What if you see a problem with students who are not in your small group? If I know who their small group leader is I’ll take it to them and advise them of what I see. If it needs to be dealt with immediately, I’ll step in and do what I mentioned above, but when it’s over I’ll make sure and bring their leader up to speed with what happened so they can follow up and make sure the issue does not reappear.

Here’s the bottom line, just sitting back and doing nothing  almost never works. Problems are just allowed to gain momentum and can quickly snowball out of control. We also need to make leaders out of these students we have in our care, and showing them the best way to address conflict is one way we help pass leadership skills on to the next generation.

How do you address conflict with students?

Filed Under: Small Groups, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

God will use you…if you let Him

April 25, 2011 by Leave a Comment

I had an “ah-ha” moment today. I woke up and during my quiet time this morning I spent an extended time praying for mine and Steven’s new blog. I prayed that God will continue to use us as a resource for other leaders in youth ministry, that we keep learning, and that we always keep God first in everything we do on this blog. And then as I was walking my dog this morning I flashed back to when I was new at this student ministry gig, when I first started out as a student ministry leader with a small group.  I think I drove Josh Griffin our high school pastor, crazy with questions.  How do I handle this…how do I address that…this kid drives me crazy, how do I keep my sanity?

One night while sitting with Josh in the Worship Center at Saddleback church, flying a remote controlled airplane (yes, our Worship Center is big enough to do that) Josh reminded me to pray for help with these kids issues and problems, and that God will help you with the answer.  And He always has! Over time I began to feel more comfortable with dealing with problems and issues.

I began to research student ministry websites and found some good ones; in fact we have included links to them at the top of our blog. Now I feel we have come full-circle. We are providing a resource to others to use for help with their problems and issues. We want to help you find answers to those problems and questions, but we also want to help you grow in your faith.

If you are dealing with a problem or have a question, send it to us. We will do our best to find an answer. One thing I have discovered is that issues I have gone through with my students, so has someone else. By sending us your questions you can not only get some help for yourself but also help someone else who may be going through the same problem you or your students are experiencing.

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