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How to relate to stuff you haven’t experienced yourself

February 13, 2012 by Leave a Comment

When a student approaches you with a problem that you haven’t experienced yourself, it can be scary. You may wonder how the heck you’re going to address it without having the experience to back it.

This can be where real ministry happens, and you can have a real, frank discussion with a student. God isn’t just growing the student, but He’s growing you as a leader. This is definitely a time when you need to bring prayer and the Holy Spirit in to give you the right words to say.

Your first inclination may be that you won’t have the right words or the right advice to give to that student. There are very few problems that absolutely need to be solved today; take the time to seek out help from other people and the Bible. Chances are, the issue does need to be addressed, and you shouldn’t just sit there with a blank stare or say something like, “Dang, you ARE messed up!” It’s better to give a good response later than the wrong response now.

Build up a list of other leaders that you know have skill in areas that you don’t. I have other leaders that I know I can count on for assistance and they know they can count on me help with stuff that is “in my wheelhouse.”

My second fear is always that I won’t know where to direct the student biblically. I wish I had the kind of brain that could memorize verses of Scripture that were relevant to students and could just spit it out at will, but I don’t. This is where patience comes in – don’t be afraid to tell a student that you’ll get back with them next week or tomorrow to follow up on what they’re dealing with.

It’s important to remember that our job as leaders isn’t always to fix our broken students. A lot of times it’s just as important to listen and take in what a student is saying now as it is trying to fix the issue later. As someone who is very “fixer-driven,” this is usually really tough for me. It takes me stepping back and evaluating if I really need to fix this person, or if they just need to vent.

Don’t be put off by a student who comes to you with something you have no experience in. Embrace the opportunity to listen, offer advice you may have, and get back to them with more information. In the end, you want them to know you’re someone they can trust and come to for help.

Question: How do you relate to your students when you have no experience in what they’re going through?

Filed Under: Counseling, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Using Scripture to relate to students’ lives

December 5, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Steven: Once in a while when I’m having my quiet time with God, a verse will hit me. Usually something will stick out to me every time, but this type of moment is different. A verse or passage will impact me in a way that makes me think,

“Maybe this wasn’t meant for me.”

In that moment I know God is trying to lead me in a way that I can lead my students. When a moment like this happens, I’ll take whatever verse(s) God led me to and send them out in a mass text to my small group boys. I don’t necessarily know who will benefit from it, but I know it will help at least one of the guys with either a problem they’re going through or just as some encouragement.

The coolest thing I’ve been learning in my walk with God is just how relevant the Bible is for us today. I’m sure I’m not the only one who sometimes goes into reading the Bible with an attitude of, “This was great for the people back in Bible days, but it can’t really apply to me now.” The awesome thing is that the Bible isn’t just relevant for us today, it’s necessary for us to live. This can be a huge thing to remember when working with students–don’t let the timelessness of the Bible take away from the ministry you can do through it today.

Matt: When I have a student come to me with a problem or an issue in their life I find that sometimes I still have to resist the temptation to try and solve their problem myself. I forget that I first need to go to God in prayer–I do that silently while the student is talking with me, and usually it’s me praying to God to give me the right words to say. If I have a chance I like to do some quick biblical research to try and relate a Bible passage to what a student is going through. You don’t need to be a Bible scholar to find a similar lesson. Often times I relate a student’s problem to the people of Israel trying to flee and they get trapped between the Red Sea and the Egyptian army. I tell my student, “Well you just found your Red Sea.” But just like in the Bible, God usually provides a way out and He’ll part your “Red Sea” for you.

Sounds cheesy but it’s a way to relate Bible stories to a problem that a student is going through right now. It not only helps them through their problem, but it gets them thinking about and reading their Bible more. It also means that you and them go to God in prayer to find a solution for their problem. It also is a way of giving them a ton of encouragement along the way.

Question: How does God help you relate Scripture to your students’ problems? Post your answer here.

Filed Under: Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

Don’t try to bring students to your level – get to theirs

June 7, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Last semester I started as a student at Biola University. It was a major change for me (literally and figuratively). I had never been a part of any kind of Christian or private school, and I made a significant change in my major from Engineering to Biblical Studies. I have gone to public, secular schools my whole life. This new style of education was a bit of a shock at first, especially on my first day of classes when all of the professors opened the class in prayer. After I had been in school for a few weeks, I noticed a slight change in how I was leading in ministry – I tended to get a little more technical and detailed when it came to talking about God and the Bible with my students.

After a few weeks of leading like this, I realized what I was doing and made a course correction to fix this. I understood that my junior high students probably aren’t going to meet me at the level of detail that my professors are feeding me, so I needed to get down to a level they could understand.

I think this is a major flaw a lot of leaders in youth ministry have. Maybe not in the same way that I did, but the overall idea in general. We try so hard to get students to understand concepts and ideas that we want them to know, but we do it on our terms. Most of the time, students don’t soak in what we try to feed them when we do it on our terms… We need to get down to theirs. We reach out a hand and tell them to grab on so we can pull them up, but what we should be doing is crouching down to get to them.

Leaders: Instead of finding ways to bring your students’ understanding to your level, find a way to get to theirs. Put things in their terms. Use pop culture. Relate things to them in a way they can understand and track with.

Question: How do you make sure to relate with students on their level and not yours?

Filed Under: Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , ,