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Seating Arrangements and Sleep Overs

November 1, 2012 by Leave a Comment

My high school small group has grown to 15 freshman guys this year. I have nine guys that were all in a junior high group for the past two years and then I have six new guys. So far they are all getting along great and what started out as two groups is slowly becoming one group. Steven I wrote a few weeks ago about ways to integrate new students into an existing group, and I’ve been doing all of the suggestions we talked about in that post.

But one thing I have noticed the past two weeks is the seating arrangement in the room. I have my new guys on one side of the room and the old existing group sitting together on the other side of the room. Last night I came up with an idea. I had them count off in groups of three. After they all had a number from 1 to 3, I explained to them that next week, all of the 1′s will sit on one side of the room, all of the 2′s on one side and the 3′s on the end. I’m hoping this will help to further integrate them into one big group. That and the fact that we are doing a small group sleep over this week will help bond them even more.

I’ll let you  know next week how my seating arrangement worked out.

If you have any suggestions for helping to integrate new students into an existing group, we’d love to hear from you!

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Summer plans for staying connected

May 14, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Matt: Some student small groups take the summer off. We do that at Saddleback Church but I want to continue to keep my group connected during the summer. Last summer, even though not every student was able to be there each week, I still had a weekly meeting. I simply told my students to be there when they could. I tried to keep the subject matter light and not do multi-week lessons. I didn’t want a student to miss a week and feel like when he returned he wouldn’t know what we were talking about so each week was a different lesson. Summer can be filled with distractions for students and for some they probably need their small group as much if not more during the summer as they do during the school year.

This year is a little different. I have high school seniors who will be moving on next year so we plan to meet over the summer but with the intent of them forming their own young adult small group. I’ve begun to decrease my involvement with the lesson and with the meeting each week so that they can become more reliant on each other for their group. My current group has some natural leaders and I want them to step up during this time. We’ve also planned some fun outings over the summer, a time to just get together and hang out with each other. I want to keep the unity they have formed with each others and not let it slow down over the summer. I also want them to realize the importance of a small group not just during their junior and senior high school years but for life. I want them to have a group of Christian brothers who will always be there for each other.

Steven: Staying connected this summer is going to be more important than ever for my small group boys. They are moving into a new season of ministry, from junior high to high school. This means they will be making a transition, and there is plenty of opportunity for some of the guys to drop off and not make the jump. To avoid this, we’re doing everything we can to make sure they stay connected with each other so they have a seamless transition.

  • We’re ending our “official” small group meeting time (which normally parallels the school year) with one of the guys’ favorite events–a sleepover in our student building. This will be the 4th time we’ve done it with this group, but we have a few extra things planned to cap off the year.
  • We’ll be meeting through the summer on our normal meeting day. Some of the guys have already started asking if we’ll be continuing after school ends, and we don’t see any reason to end it! If they want to keep meeting, we’re game. We’ll do this up until the guys leave for high school camp.
  • Because some of the guys in our group weren’t able to make it to the sleepover, we wanted to make sure they got to celebrate their time with us too. We’re taking a 24-hour trip to one of our local parks, which is something we’ve never done with them before. It’s close enough that we don’t have to drive far, but far enough away to feel like a total getaway.

This is just an example of some of the stuff we’ll be doing to keep our students connected. In this vital time, we want to give them as good a chance as possible so they start their time off right in high school.

Question: What are you doing to keep your students connected to each other over the summer? Let us know here.

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GUEST POST: How can we go deeper with our group more quickly? – Part 2

January 20, 2012 by Leave a Comment

This is part 2 of Nathan Wells’s post from last week. If you haven’t read part 1 yet, head over there and then come right back!

When it goes deep

The guys naturally just began to group off and talk with one another. This was a great time for me and my co-leader to connect with them in some smaller settings. So we each sat in separate groupings that had formed throughout the night with some of the guys and hopped around, switching between groups every so often and seeking out individual conversations along the way. This is a great time to really have some serious and meaningful conversations with your students so don’t let it go to waste.

There is something magical that happens in the early hours of the morning (anywhere around midnight to 4am) where that wall and guard or mask that a student wears all the time crumbles before you. Bring up topics or maybe even some hard direct questions you’ve been worried or maybe to intimidated to bring up. If its really specific maybe try and have some one-to-one conversations throughout the night. You will see that they will actually answer the question and a conversation about it will ensue.

What about sleep?

You may or may not get any sleep that night but don’t complain about it. Remember the reason why you are having this Overnighter. It’s not for you, it is for your students. If you remember that throughout the night, it will be the most rewarding lack of sleep you ever gave up. By the end of it you and your students will have created so many memories and stories to share with one another and others. As a result, you will all be a lot closer and trusted then before you did this.

So be brave and go one night without sleep for God. It’s really not asking a lot and your students will remember how much you cared for a long time to come.

Nathan Wells, a dear friend of ours, is on the Tech Arts team at Saddleback Church and is also a high school small group leader. This is his second year in high school ministry, and he is doing great things with his group. Expect to read more from him in the future!

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GUEST POST: How can we go deeper with our group more quickly? – Part 1

January 13, 2012 by Leave a Comment

One way is to have a sleepover with the entire group.

First off, I have called this an Overnighter rather than a sleepover because very little, if any, sleep happens so just come to accept that reality.

Overnighters can be a great tool for ministry. It’s a way to spend more extended amounts of time with one another and deeper bonds can develop. During my past Overnighter we had them all bring food and snacks that they wanted to share with the group (this makes it way easier on you), my co-leader and I just supplied the pizza (it’s great to buy a ton of pizza because it lasts all night and they will eat it all night long).

Once we all were there we had Bible study together. This was like our regular weekly meeting format but we went a little more in depth this time and really broke things apart together. We started with this so that the night flowed from serious to fun. I was worried that some of it went over their heads and that they gave up based on the looks of some of their faces but I pressed on and kept it interesting. The cool thing was they got it. It started great conversations that lasted the night and even into the following weeks. I even have had some of my guys tell me afterwards how much they liked how we started the night with Bible study before we had the greatest time of our lives having fun.

But overnighters are suppose to be loaded with fun right?

Absolutely! That’s why we jumped directly into the events for the evening immediately after we finished Bible study. It’s best to do all the planned and more structured games and events for the night first because as the night progresses they will get more tired and so will you, so less people may participate in everything as the night goes on and that’s ok.

We had our Overnighter around Christmas this year so we did some “holiday games” to start off the night. We started with our white elephant gift exchange and this was hilarious. The rule was you couldn’t spend any money and to re-wrap something old you already had. I think someone ended up with used deodorant and another with a freezer ziploc bag of water. It was fun to see the creativity. Then we played the Twelve tastes of Christmas. Followed by capture the flag and then sardines (which is reverse hide and seek) this took us well into about 1am or 2am and by then it was video game time, movie watching and just hanging out.

Nathan Wells, a dear friend of ours, is on the Tech Arts team at Saddleback Church and is also a high school small group leader. This is his second year in high school ministry, and he is doing great things with his group. Expect to read more from him in the future!

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The “Overnighter”

December 27, 2011 by Leave a Comment

I’m writing this blog post at 2:00 in the morning, after two hours of hide and go seek, two hours of dodgeball and two hours of capture the flag. My high school small group guys asked if our group could do an overnighter in our student building this week since they are out for Christmas break. How could I say no?

These nights are excellent bonding nights for a small group. I have a new guy in my group who has only been with us for two weeks now. He may be new but an hour into this event tonight and you would not be able to pick him out of the crowd. These nights are huge for bringing a group together.

We’re about to head into some Jesus time and do a bible study at 2:30 in the morning. That’s another thing I love about this group, they want to have fun, and they all play hard, but they also want to know more about and grow more in God.

I can’t encourage you enough to plan this type of event for your group!

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Starting the Small Group Year on the Right Foot

October 3, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Matt: This week at Saddleback Church we start off student ministry small groups for this school year…and I am excited! I have a new group this year and I see a ton of possibilities with these guys. Here’s how I want to start this year:

1. I have written down a spiritual goal for each of the guys in my group. That’s one of the things I’ll be praying about for each one this year. I want them to pick something they want to work on this year as well.

2. I want to make sure and bond this group super close together so they know that they have friends to go to during troubled times and I want them to pick an accountability partner.

3. I want to make sure that each week my lessons will tie to high school ministry curriculum, but also that I address the specific problem areas that my guys are facing.

4. I want them to know I’m here for them, and that they can count on me. I want to be very intentional with each one of them this year.

5. I’ve dedicated a part of my quiet time every day towards praying for my guys, by name. If you’re not praying for your group you’re missing out on one the best tools you have that can help and support your group.

6. Last one is simple – I want these guys to know that they are loved.

Steven: I love the beginning of small group season. This year will look a little different for my group because we met during the summer, but this year I want to try a few different things for the start of the small group year.

The first is something I’ve done before, but not so close to the beginning of the year. I want to make sure these guys feel like a close-knit group, so we’re going to have a sleepover in our student building, The Refinery. This year we’re doing it only three days after the first night of small group. I’m hoping it will be a fun time and will remind the guys that they are meant to be more than just a small group, but brothers.

This next thing is a little new to our group. I really want to try to focus on intentional family ministry. For us, this means more of a focus on the parents of our small group guys. We’re going to try to set up a beginning of the year meeting with the parents to start off. I already send out a weekly email letting parents know what our group is up to, but I want to put more effort into it this year. I want to actually write some content that will help them partner with us in growing their sons’ faith.

Question: What do you do to make sure your small group year starts off right?

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Retro Friday // Lighten Up!

September 23, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Here’s a post we did a few months ago for Volunteeryouthministry.com.  You can find the original post here.

 

Matt: I look forward to Wednesday nights when I meet with my high school small group guys. I want them to look forward to Wednesday night as well. One thing we need to remember is that small group needs to be fun for students. We have a serious time for Bible study, but we also take time each week to give each guy a chance to talk about his week, how things are going, and about his life in general. It usually just takes one guy to start talking about a tough time he is going through, or a problem and that usually opens up the rest of the group to talking about a problem that he is having. We spend time towards the end of the night on prayer requests. One thing we try to do is have fun each week, and set aside a day every now and then for just fellowship, and fun. Fellowship helps bond your group together. If you have students that don’t attend the same school, they might only see each other on small group night.

One important thing for leaders, on fun and fellowship night…be a kid!! Play dodge ball with them, play video games with them, whatever the game, join in! Participate, don’t just stand by and watch! Don’t bring your laptop and try to catch up on work from the office. This is a time for students and it shows your students that you were a kid once, that you’re not just some guy that wants to lead a Bible study, and it shows them you care. In short it helps bond you to them. With that bond comes trust, with trust comes the ability to open up to you and share what’s going on in their lives. And with that comes the opportunity to teach and show them how different their lives can be when they involve Jesus in every part of their life. When I’m having fun, playing some games or sport activity with my guys it also reminds me not to take myself too serious. Getting whacked in the head with a dodge ball helps keep you humble, trust me I know!

Steven: I’ll admit that I’m probably not the best person to be talking about this. So many times I find myself stressing over time restraints because we only have a set amount of time, and there’s so much Jesus I want to pump into my small group guys! I don’t want it to be wasted on useless games and un-constructive talking. The fact is, however, some of the best ministry moments happen when you’re not being intentionally Jesus-minded. The idea of simply showing your students that you’re a real person and not some Bible-thumping, never-stop-preaching small group leader is super important to making positive, trust-building relationships. THAT is where real ministry comes from.

 

One of the best things I ever did with my 7th grade group is a sleepover (actually a misnomer – there’s usually no sleep involved) in our student building at Saddleback Church. 13 students and 2 leaders got to take over the entire building that night for an amazing time of fellowship, bonding and a ton of laughing. The best part of it was God’s great timing. It happened to work out that we were able to plan the sleepover only two months after the group came together, but after that night, no one could’ve known that the group had only known each other for two months because everyone became so close. There’s just something about staying up all night, throwing dodge balls at each other, having NERF gun wars and playing hide and seek that grow a group together, and not one time did we have to mention Jesus. It just worked. In all honesty, it probably doesn’t take a sleepover to make your small group bond and be more fun. Start small, like a game of ultimate Frisbee in the park, and see where God takes it.

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