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Helping Students Cross The Line

April 25, 2013 by Leave a Comment

I should have called this,” Helping Students JUMP Across The Line”. Last night towards the end of my high school small group, I asked my room full of 14 freshman high school guys to be totally honest with me and I asked, “Not counting small group last week or church over the weekend,  how many of them had read the Bible in the past week?”  I was shocked to see only three hands go up, and they were three of my students that if you asked me I would have guessed they would have been the three. I got every excuse under the sun, “I had sports”, “I had a lot of homework”, “I wasn’t feeling it this week”. The only excuse I didn’t get was that someone’s dog had eaten his Bible.

Though dismayed, I flashed back to my teen years and I probably would have answered the same way, BUT I wasn’t in a small group then, I wasn’t regularly  attending church, these guys do those things! I used this as a teaching moment with them to explain that just accepting Christ into your life is great, but you’ll never grow in your faith without having some regular quiet times and spending time reading (and understanding) your Bible. “But I go to church every week!” one of them told me. My answer was, “Going to church every week doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in the garage makes you a car.”

As student ministry leaders we need to realize that a student’s relationship with God is a personal decision, we can’t make it for them. But we can help them grow the relationship with God and their love of Jesus. It’s great to step across the line and accept Jesus into your life and become a Christian, but once that’s done you need to grow and strengthen the relationship. My entire lesson with these guys next week will be on this topic and how they can not just step across the line, but take a running head start and leap across the line.

Filed Under: Encouragement, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , ,

Are You Challenging Yourself as a Leader – Part Two

January 15, 2013 by 1 Comment

This is Part-Two of a series on Challenging Yourself as a Leader,

And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the new wine will burst the skins and it will be spilled, and the skins will be destroyed.  But new wine must be put into fresh wineskins.  And no one after drinking old wine desires new, for he says, ‘The old is good.” Luke 5:37-39 ESV

These verses seem to be a contradiction, Jesus is telling us to change and not to put new wine in old wineskins but then he ends with “The old is good”. Yes, old wine is better than new wine, and the temptation is there that might make you want to just stay the same but there is a couple of problems with this.

First its selfish, if we don’t grow in our faith and stick to our old methods, we’re being selfish. We need new ways of reaching out to students. Imagine when texting was first getting popular with teens as a way of communicating and we as student ministry leaders decided, “No I don’t want to spend the extra $10 a month to add that to my cell phone plan, I can just call them on the phone or see them in person.” Wow, today I can’t even imagine that. I’ve had so many great ministry moments happen in text message conversations!

Second, its shortsighted , you stop growing when you stop looking for the new things Jesus wants to do in your life. Your small group will stop growing when you stop finding ways to challenge them to stretch their faith or make them take a step out in faith and for some of the students in your group it might stop them from accepting Jesus into their lives as their Lord and Savior. All because we don’t want to step out of our comfort zone. Wow, I don’t want to have to answer for that one day! Don’t fall into the trap that the old way, the comfortable way is better and I don’t want to try anything new. God wants to reach into your life and into your heart and do new and better things with you and with your group. But if you don’t challenge yourself, no growth will happen.

Ask yourself, are you willing to challenge yourself to grow, to try new things in your group, in your high school or junior high ministry? Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone? Are you willing to think outside the box, (but still inside the scriptures) and bring more students to Jesus?

For the High School and Junior High Pastors that read this, are you challenging your staff and your volunteers? Are you willing to empower them to try new things? Are you open to having a conversation with them about this or are you weary about thinking outside the box? Are you available to them to help them and support them?

I have some ideas for change in my high school small group and over the new few weeks I’ll be writing about them. Stay tuned, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride but one that is going to be well worth the journey. It’s going to grow the students in my group as well as me and my co-leader.

 

Filed Under: Spriritual Life, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Prayer Time Before Small Group Time is Essential

November 27, 2012 by Leave a Comment

I’ve been meeting the past few Monday afternoons with a former student that was in my small group two years ago. I’ve been helping him get through a tough time and work through some issues that he has. Today when we were talking he said something to me that was in a lesson I had given to my small group at the time, that lesson stuck with him and he even remembered a phrase I had used. It struck me that he remembered the lesson and what I had said because this was well over two years ago.

We’ve written in the past that sometimes the smallest most insignificant (to us) things will hit home with a student and stay with them. You just never know.  I always give the credit to God. He had me say something that this kid needed to hear and remember two years later. This is just another example. I’m sure most of you have had the same thing happen to you.

God gives us what we need, not always right at the time we need it, but eventually it will come back to us. Before each student small group night I go into prayer time and one of the things I ask God is that he will give me the ability to teach on a subject or a lesson that one of these guys needs to hear. I also ask God to let the words be His and not mine. Prayer time before small group time is a must.  Once I finish my prayer time I usually feel refreshed and ready to go. A couple of times I have gotten busy and didn’t have a chance for my usually prayer time and I feel disjointed and out-of-place.

I have no doubt that if you make prayer time an essential before you meet with students you will be even more successful. God has placed these students in your care and it’s up to you to do all you can to help them succeed and to grow in their walk with God.

Filed Under: Small Groups, Spriritual Life Tagged With: ,

Seating Arrangements and Sleep Overs

November 1, 2012 by Leave a Comment

My high school small group has grown to 15 freshman guys this year. I have nine guys that were all in a junior high group for the past two years and then I have six new guys. So far they are all getting along great and what started out as two groups is slowly becoming one group. Steven I wrote a few weeks ago about ways to integrate new students into an existing group, and I’ve been doing all of the suggestions we talked about in that post.

But one thing I have noticed the past two weeks is the seating arrangement in the room. I have my new guys on one side of the room and the old existing group sitting together on the other side of the room. Last night I came up with an idea. I had them count off in groups of three. After they all had a number from 1 to 3, I explained to them that next week, all of the 1′s will sit on one side of the room, all of the 2′s on one side and the 3′s on the end. I’m hoping this will help to further integrate them into one big group. That and the fact that we are doing a small group sleep over this week will help bond them even more.

I’ll let you  know next week how my seating arrangement worked out.

If you have any suggestions for helping to integrate new students into an existing group, we’d love to hear from you!

Filed Under: Small Groups, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , ,

The Power of Testimonies

October 18, 2012 by Leave a Comment

I’m still amazed at the power of giving a testimony. I guess I forget how you can get a student’s attention when you use real life situations for examples and how moving it can be.

The past two days I’ve spoken  to our High School Ministry about the power of community and how important is it to not just be in a small group but to participate in the group and support each other. I spoke about my recent experience and ordeal with going through six months of chemotherapy and how if it wasn’t for my own small group I couldn’t have made it. We have 1,100 high school students in small groups, or Life Groups as we call them here at Saddleback Church and the past two nights I’ve spoken to a packed auditorium of students and leaders, most who had no idea what I was going through these past six months, mainly because I just haven’t talked about it much outside of my own small group.

Both nights, even though the auditorium was packed with hundreds of students, you could have heard a pin drop it got so quiet as my testimony got to the part where I told them I have colon cancer and am now in complete remission. I mixed in enough humor to keep the mood from getting too sad, but frankly at points I wanted it sad to make the point…being in a small group is one of the most important things you can do.

I had a built-in support group through this whole ordeal. Steven, Dennis, Chip, Nathan and Michael have been there to help me to support me, have made sure they texted me on the rough days to let me know they were thinking and praying for me. I used that example for students to show the importance of Christian Community.

Both nights I had a lot of students come up to me and thank me and basically let me know they value their small group but now they really value their group. I have a new student small group I’m leading and because God is awesome and knows our needs, I found out I have a student in my group that has just gone through four years of chemotherapy. Who better to relate to him than me, someone who has just gone through the same struggle?

Share your story and your experiences with your students. Sometimes there is no better way to teach a lesson than with practical real life experiences.

Filed Under: Small Groups, Spriritual Life, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , ,

Getting the torch passed on to you

July 19, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Last night I got to meet the freshmen guys who will be in my high school small group this coming school year. I was so excited to see them and talk to them and let them get to know me. I’m taking Steven’s junior high small group and Steven and his co-leader Kyle had invited me and my new co-leader Michael to be at their last night of small group and to introduce us.

The first thing that was very obvious to me was the love these guys have for Steven and Kyle. I could tell for some of them this was going to be a sad night and I knew it would be sad for Steven and Kyle as well.  Check out Steven’s post from yesterday if you haven’t already. They have poured into these guys for two years and have done an awesome job.

Here’s how we did the transition:

  • Before the group met, the four of us sat down and they talked about each of the guys in the small group, the best way to connect with each one of them and where they are in their walk with God.
  • Once we got to the house where they meet, Steven introduced us, told the guys about the friendship we have and how we share a ministry together and all about us. Then he opened it up for us to talk to the guys a little bit and then he let them ask us questions.

This made for a very smooth transition and I’d recommend this for others who are passing their student small group on to new leaders.

When I got home last night I prayed for this new group and for each of the guys by name. I also prayed for my old group that God would help them in their next phase of life as college students.

The torch has been passed and I’m ready to get started with these guys. Some of them will be at high school camp with me next week. Thank you Steven and Kyle for the amazing job you did with these guys, God has gifted both of you with an incredible talent for student ministry, and these nine guys you have handed off to me are proof of that!

 

 

Filed Under: Small Groups, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , ,

Small Groups / Big Miracles

May 16, 2012 by Leave a Comment

My high school small group meeting had a twist to it tonight. The students are now leading the group. I said I was going to start turning their group over to them and tonight I did it. I was proud of myself, I resisted all the urges to jump in and take over the lesson, or to speak up when a question was asked. I simply sat back and waited for them to answer themselves, and it happened. I was so stinking proud of my guys tonight.

I sat there thinking about where we were as a group last summer and where these guys are now and it made me realize this is just another example of what an awesome God we have. I’ve been blessed to watch these guys grow stronger and stronger in their walk with God and to trust Him more everyday for their problems. Our prayer requests tonight we’re not just the usual, “I need prayer for a test in my English class”, but things like “I pray that we can all get to know God on a personal level” and “that my quiet times help me grow each day.”

I also watched them pray for each other, and minister to each other. A couple of the guys are going through a tough time right now, and the others jumped right in to comfort them.  After our group I received text messages from two of them saying basically the same thing, “Wow what happened tonight, group was awesome” and “Matt! God showed up big time tonight!”

It’s so cool to see the transformation in these guys, I know God will use this group for some amazing things. After our group met this week I walked away confident that I’ve done the job God placed on me with these guys.

Question: Have you set your students up to continue growing in their walk with God? Looking back, could you have done something different? We’d love to hear your comments!

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Finding Joy in All Circumstances

March 21, 2012 by Leave a Comment

I’ve discovered that the guys in my high school small group love to unpack scripture. It’s one of my favorite things to do, I always want to know more and know about what circumstances were going on at the time scripture was written. It helps you to understand Paul’s letters and get more out of them when you realize most of them were written when he was in prison. For instance this week we talked about finding joy in your life and we unpacked Philippians chapter 1 and 2. Paul was in prison when he wrote Philippians and even though he was being imprisoned for spreading the gospel, he was writing about finding joy.

Once I started talking about Paul writing from prison my group had as many questions about Paul as they did scripture. It hit me that I’ve spent a lot of time on scripture but not a lot of time talking about the authors of the Bible and how God inspired them to write. So tonight I shifted gears a little and lucky for me I had just read some great commentary on Paul so I had some information to pass on and we had a great discussion about Paul. I really want my guys to leave this small group at the end of their senior year this summer and take with them a desire to dig deep into scripture, not just during hard times but all the time. When you spend time with the Bible each and every day it makes resisting temptation easier.

Tonight we reinforced that you can find joy in any circumstance when you trust God, and use whatever situation you’re in to encourage others and not get discouraged yourself. I think tonight’s lesson was as much for me as it was for my high school guys.

Filed Under: Encouragement, Spriritual Life, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Finding a way to talk about difficult subjects

March 13, 2012 by 2 Comments

Some topics are easier than others to talk about and some are just downright uncomfortable, especially for students. I’ve had circumstances where I’ve needed to have a conversation with a student regarding what I thought might be happening in his life. One was a situation with his parents, the other was a student who had a girlfriend and information had come to me that they were not really keeping a biblical relationship.

The family situation was easier to talk about for me but not for the student. He was not at a point where he was ready to talk about what was going on, or to hear some advice from me on how to straighten out some of the problems. My first thought was to just let it go at that time and hit him up in a week or so when he might be in a better place to hear what I had to say. I felt that was not the way God wanted the conversation to go that night so I decided that he at least was going to hear what I had to say. If he didn’t want to talk about it, fine… we could talk more later, but I told him what I wanted him to hear. It was the right decision. As soon as I was done talking he opened up and just let it all out. The next day I heard from his dad and found out that they had a great talk when he got home after small group.

The second situation was difficult for me for a couple of reasons. First, I knew my student would want to know how I knew what was going on between him and his girlfriend and I didn’t want to betray the confidence I had with the other student who had come to me. Second, I just knew this was not going to be easy to talk about (for him or for me). But I also knew it was a conversation I needed to have with him. To make a long story short, the relationship with his girlfriend soon ended and he later thanked me for caring enough to talk to him about what he was doing. He and I still talk all the time and now he is at a point where he understands the importance of boundaries in a relationship and how important it is to make God the center of the relationship.

Often times it’s not easy to have some of the conversations we need to have with students, but that’s the job we signed up for. I’m not just in this for the good times, but for the difficult times at well. God has trusted me with 13 students, and I have to do everything in my power to make sure I always go the extra mile for these guys. The other thing I have discovered is that after you have a difficult conversation with a student, it has a way of bringing the two of you closer and it makes your relationships with students very intentional.

Question: How do you handle tough subjects with your students? Let us know here.

Filed Under: Small Groups, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

40 Days in the Word

January 24, 2012 by Leave a Comment

How well do your students know the Bible? How well do you know the Bible? I think I’m like most volunteer leaders, I can find stuff in the Bible when I’m looking for it, I can use the index and the concordance in my Bible and eventually I can find what I need. But I’m not content with that. I want to be able to have scripture at the ready when I’m dealing with a student going through a tough time. I want to be able to give him the right words at the right time. To do that I need to spend some intentional time in my Bible study each day.

At Saddleback Church we just kicked off a church-wide campaign called, “40 Days in the Word” Click here for more information on how you can participate in this awesome study. I want to use this 40 days to my advantage. I want to greatly increase my knowledge in scripture so that I can use God’s word not only for myself but also be able to minister to my high school group. When we as leaders show our students that we are willing to take the extra effort to know the Bible and read it on a daily basis we are showing them how they can do the same thing. I’m afraid that in the past, my fumbling through my Bible probably sent the wrong message to students.

In our student ministries at Saddleback, we are also participating in the “40 Days in the Word” series. Click here for Josh Griffin’s (our high school pastor) link on his website for the series arc that he is teaching on. The first week went really well and I’ve had a ton of positive feedback from students about the weekend service. It showed me that students are just as hungry for more Bible knowledge as we leaders are. If you’re not teaching students on Bible study methods or on ways to unpack scripture your students are missing out, and you’re missing out on better ways to use scripture to walk a student through a crisis in their lives.

Are you taking the time to teach students how to read study and interpret the Bible?

Filed Under: Small Groups, Volunteer ministry, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,
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