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Cultural Relevancy and Youth Ministry

December 17, 2011 by Leave a Comment

I’m not 18 years old anymore…in fact I’m far from it. As a youth ministry leader and volunteer I need to be REAL and not try to be something I’m not. Teens see right through that. I’ve seen some student ministry volunteers try to look and act cool and well, to be honest, you just look like a fool. I want to be an “attraction” to God, not a “distraction” from God. However, you do need to keep up on the current culture trends with teens to be a successful leader. 

Andy Blanks over youthministry360.com has a great blog about this topic. Here’s a tease of the article, you can find the entire blog here.

Lately I’ve listened to a conversation going on in youth ministry circles on whether or not it’s valuable to be versed in youth culture . . . to be “culturally relevant.” I think this conversation is of vital importance to us as youth workers. Give me 4 minutes of your time to share my thoughts (and I welcome yours, as well).

I believe youth workers must strive to be experts in two things: Scripture and culture. Let me explain.

We know the truth of Scripture is timeless. It’s as effective today at spiritual transformation as it was hundreds and thousands of years ago.

However, culture is not timeless. Culture is fluid. It changes with time and geography. You would never attempt to reach a people group in another culture without considering that culture’s unique realities. You wouldn’t travel to rural Chongqing, China and teach the exact same lesson you would teach in Idaho Falls. While the underlying biblical truths have a universal application, the cultural “vehicle” through which your lesson is communicated would be wholly ineffective.

I believe as youth workers we should approach reaching our students with the same level of cultural awareness that we would take in approaching another people group in another culture.

Why? What are the benefits of a commitment to cultural relevancy? Glad you asked.

  • It’s strategic–Knowing youth culture helps you tailor your message in order to deliver Scripture’s un-changing truth in a way that is wrapped in the rhetoric of the society surrounding your students.
  • It Shows You Care–Whenever I travel internationally, I learn some basic conversational phrases in the native language. When I need something and engage someone in their native language (however clumsily), they are much more inclined to help. It shows that I value their culture. Knowing youth culture says the same thing to your students.

 

Filed Under: Repost, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

Retro Friday // The Bottom Line

November 25, 2011 by Leave a Comment

This is a post we did for volunteeryouthministry.com last year. This post marked our sixth month anniversary writing blogs and we took a minute to sum up what we had written about in the past. I remember thinking at the time that this was getting to the end of what we had to write about. I had no idea the plans God had for us and for our own website! Thanks again to Dennis Beckner for giving us our start! The original blog can be found here.

Phil. 4:13 – I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

This week marks the six month anniversary that we have been writing this blog. The time passed quickly to be honest, but when I look back there has been a lot we have learned in these past six months. We’d like to share a few of those lessons with you.

1. Student ministry takes three things: a heart for students, a willingness to be an example and a lot of prayer! There were times when I thought we would run out of things to write about, but I don’t think that is ever going to happen. God continues to place us in situations where we are learning and growing and we pass those on to you.

2. Pain is real. We both have had to deal with some messy situations with some of our students this year. Their pain is our pain, and it kills me when I think of some of the stuff that my small group guys have gone through. But I keep Phil. 4:13 in mind, and use it when I talk with students. I try to point out the lessons that God teaches us with each pain and trouble that we go through.

3. We grow as our students grow. I think I have grown more spiritually in the past year than I have at any time in my life. We learn as we teach, we grow closer to God as we show our students how awesome their life can be when they grow closer to God. When we love on our students, we realize how much God loves us.

4. We get blessed just as much if not more than our students. I call this the “dirty little secret” in student ministry. All of us choose student ministry because we have a heart for students and we want to help them, we want them to have a blessed life, and we want them to grow closer to God and find salvation in their lives. Truth is, God blesses us as we do that.

5. Keep growing, keep learning. Leaders are learners, when you stop learning you stop leading. I want to be able to answer the tough questions for my students. Learning more about the Bible and about God draws me closer to Him. My quiet time each day is vital to having a close relationship with God. There have been times when I have read a bible passage and that very day a student would come to me with a problem that would relate to scripture I just read. I call those times, “a total God thing”. God knew the situation I was going to be in, and he gave me the ammo to fight the battle before I even got on the battlefield.

6. When things get tough, you’re doing something right. The enemy loves to kick us down a peg when we start doing good things for God. If you experience spiritual warfare, you know you’re either getting close to a breakthrough, or the enemy doesn’t like where you’re going. The hardest, most discouraging times in youth ministry are times when I know I’m doing great things.

7. Our time isn’t our time. Even with all the time we put into this game we call “youth ministry,” we have to remember that we’re not living on our time. Just like everything else, God has given us the time we have and we need to keep in mind that things will happen on His schedule. We might want something really badly, but if it’s not the right time, it’s not going to happen.

Here’s the bottom line in student ministry...how many students will be in heaven one day because you took the time to volunteer your time and pass on what you have learned from generation to generation?

Filed Under: Retro Friday, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , ,

Tips for counseling students

September 17, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Here’s a great post from our friend Dennis Beckner at Volunteeryouthministry.com  In this post Dennis gives tips for counseling students with their parents. Look for a guest post from Dennis coming soon to Gentogenym.com!

Here are a few tips for counseling your students with their parents:

- Don’t be available at a moment’s notice. If you can delay the appointment for at least a few hours after the explosive argument, they’ll have a chance to cool down and the session will be more productive

- Start the appointment with prayer. Prayer brings God into the conversation and reminds the counselees that they are Christians. That’s a little tongue in cheek. But, really, sometimes this will help the gloves not come off so much during your meeting.

- Begin with stories of what they like or appreciate about each other or a fond memory. Everybody has to share something. This accomplishes 3 things: 1. It softens everybody in the room, 2. It shows you are going to lead the meeting, 3. It sets a positive mood.

- Stay on point until the parents and student understand each other. Tackle one issue at a time. THIS IS ESSENTIAL!!! The tendency will be for the conversation to go down secondary paths not related to the current topic. You are in control of the meeting. When somebody (parent or child) takes the conversation down an unrelated bunny trail, it’s important that you pause and redirect the person back on track until a common understanding is reached. You’re not looking for buy in or agreement, you’re looking to help them understand each other. Good questions during this time are often, “How would you have handled that if you were the parent?” and “How would that have made you feel if you were the child?”

- Keep the conversation moving. The tendency will be for families to harp on a subject much longer than they need to. They’re pouring out their pain and it feels good. You’re leading the conversation so it’s your job to come to an understanding and move on to the next topic. Once understanding is met, announce, “Now that we have an understanding there, we’re going to put that on the shelf for now and not revisit it again in this session. What’s the next issue?”

- Summarize and suggest action steps. Repeat every issue discussed in the meeting as well as the understanding everybody came to on each topic. Give some ideas that could help them communicate better or be more considerate of each other.

- Close in prayer.

Filed Under: Counseling, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , ,

Retro Friday // Dealing With Denial

August 19, 2011 by Leave a Comment

 

Here’s another post from the  Generation to Generation series on VolunteerYouthMinistry.com, and of course a link to the original post.

 

“I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM; I CAN QUIT ANYTIME I WANT”

 

Helping a student deal with an addiction in their life can be difficult, but with prayer and spiritual guidance, and the right program you can help their recovery.

Matt: When we hear the word “addiction,” most of us think about a problem with alcohol or drugs, and while those are certainly issues that students deal with today, they are not the only addictions that teens deal with. Pornography and self-image addictions are affecting a lot of students today. It’s easy to get caught up in an addiction. You do something once or twice, and then three times, four times, and pretty soon you start adjusting your entire life so that you can indulge in your addiction. The fist step is admitting you have a problem, but as a student leader we should also keep an eye open when we think a student has an addiction they are ignoring. I look at students’ Facebook accounts and see who they hang around with, check their status, and their photos to see what they are doing when they are not at church.  Makes me feel like a creeper, but that’s how much I care about the guys that God has placed in my care (Yes, long before you made the decision to become a student ministry leader, God knew who he was going to place in your group!). I also know several students who have a pornography addiction, and have come forward to ask me for help.

At Saddleback Church, we have a program called “The Landing”  that is designed to help teens with hurts, habits and hang ups. It’s recovery designed for teenagers. If your church does not have a program like this, you should look into putting one into place. When a student takes me into their confidence about an addiction, I do two things. First, I let them know I’m there for them, I care, I love them and this does not change my opinion of them. Second, I keep their confidence. If teens don’t trust you they will not come to you for help, I cannot stress that enough. The next thing I do is try and talk them into attending our program. If they are reluctant at first, I try to get them to immediately find an accountability partner. I recently had two students come to my with pornography addictions. I now have them keeping each other accountable. They check either other’s computer and cell phone history, and also know that when they feel tempted they can call each other for help. And I let them know they can call me, anytime, for help. I also pray with them. Not just once, but several times and I remember them on my prayer list.

I also encourage them to replace the bad behavior with good behavior. Instead of spending an hour indulging in an addiction, what if you used that time at the gym, or in a quiet time, or any other activity they normally don’t have time for. Life is about choices, I want them to make good choices, not destructive ones.

Steven: As someone who works with junior high students, I used to be surprised by some of the hurts, habits, and hangups that even 12 and 13 year olds can be struggling with. I shouldn’t be that surprised, as that was only 7 years ago for me, but it seems like now students are having a harder time either expressing these issues to someone or dealing with them on their own. Therein lies the ultimate problem – students don’t typically bring things up unless they’re prodded, or they’ve gotten to a point where they recognize how bad the problem is and they know they need help. Either way, we need to be open and available to them as leaders.

 

The biggest thing I’ve encountered when dealing with students with habits, addictions, or other issues, is that they have the mentality of “I’m the only one with this problem.” I try to help them realize that there are probably other kids in our group that have the same issues they struggle with, and if possible, help those students minister to each other. Once a student knows he’s not alone with his problem, there is an instant feeling of relief. Last year I was talking to one of my students, and he asked if he could tell me something he hadn’t told anyone before because he was ashamed. I made sure to tell him that I would never judge him or love him any less because of anything he told me. Ever. He opened up to me in a big way that night, and when I told him that I had struggled with some of the same things he was describing, he told me that he felt so much more at ease and at peace with it.

The biggest part of ministering to students when they open up about a hurt, habit, or hangup is making sure you communicate well. You don’t want to throw them off or force them to clam up because you react in an off-putting way or don’t respond appropriately. About a year ago, Dennis posted a list of questions, comments, and tips for talking to students and helping them open up and share. I keep this bookmarked and open it up every now and then to keep myself refreshed, or I look at it when I know I’m going to have a one-on-one conversation with a student that may be facing an issue. These are all simple things you can do to keep yourself at the top of your game so that you can spread your love and advice from generation to generation.

Would you be able to recognize a student who has an addiction? Would you know where to turn for help?

Filed Under: Encouragement, Retro Friday, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , ,

The Landing

August 11, 2011 by Leave a Comment

This week at Saddleback Church we’re hosting a huge conference for Celebrate Recovery, which is a Christ-centered program for recovery from hurts, habits, hangups or addictions. This program started at Saddleback Church 20 years ago and is now used in churches all over the world. Last year Celebrate Recovery added a new segment to their program called, “The Landing”. The Landing is for junior high and high school students who are going through some tough times in their life and have some hurts, habits or hang ups of their own that they need to work through.

Our friend from Volunteer Youth Ministry.com, Dennis Beckner runs the program here at Saddleback Church and it’s been an extremely successful program. Today I sat in on a break-out session that Dennis put on for the conference. As I listenened to Dennis talk, all I could think of were all the students that have been helped so far because of this program, and the many others that God will steer towards this program.  If your church does not have a program like The Landing for teens, I would highly recommend you look into one.  It can be an awesome way to not only help a student through a tough time in his or her life but also bring them to Christ at the same time. You can check out information on The Landing here or check out their Facebook page here.

Filed Under: Encouragement, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , ,

Teaching Students How To Deal With Stress

July 30, 2011 by Leave a Comment

I found this post a couple of weeks ago by our friend Dennis Beckner over at volunteer youth ministry.com. It’s a great lesson on teaching students on how to deal with stress in their lives, and it’s a fun game to play while you’re teaching. The original post can be found here.

Tonight at The Landing, we played a trivia game to illustrate the stress in our lives brought on by things we won’t admit to. It worked out pretty well.

Supplies needed:
- Random props of various sizes (we had about 50 – ranging from a straw to a huge stuffed animal to cinder blocks)
- Easily crushed small plastic cups
- Trivia questions related to stress (random stuff I found in a Google search for “stress trivia”)

How to play:
- Ask questions based on the trivia you collect
- Whichever teams have the correct answer get to stack things on the cup of an opposing team
- When a cup is crushed, that team is out of the game
- The last team without a crushed cup wins

The application:
All of the props we’re using to crush cups represents stress in our lives. We all have stuff in our lives that brings stress. When we try to hide that stuff, the stress of hiding it adds to the stress of our secrets. However, when we admit our problems and get help, we’re better off.

Key verse: James 5:16 “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so you may be healed…”

Filed Under: Small Groups, Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , ,

Bible Study: Subscription vs. Sacrifice

May 19, 2011 by Leave a Comment

I love this small group lesson by Dennis Beckner at VolunteerYouthMinistry.com. He talks about the difference between having a relationship with God that is a subscription and one that is a sacrifice. I used it with my junior high small group last week (with a few tweaks) and it was super successful! Here’s the intro:

- Gym membership – a smoking great deal at $50/year
- Disneyland – $30/month
- Cell phone – $94/month

These are all subscriptions I have. I can cancel them at any time. I might have to pay a small penalty, but the companies wouldn’t care that I canceled or even miss me when I’m gone. No big deal.

There are, however, some sacrifices I make:
- Mortgage – I can’t really decide to move out of town on the spur of the moment. The bank’s going to care and I’m going to get hurt financially and credit-wise if I just abandon my mortgage responsibility.

- Marriage – If I was married, that would be a sacrifice. I wouldn’t be able to think of just myself. Every decision I made would have to involve how it would affect my wife. If I had kids, the sacrifice gets even greater. – The unfortunate thing is some people treat their marriages and children as subscriptions rather than a sacrifice.

- My job – My job is a sacrifice. I commit a lot of my time to it. I love it, but it’s a big commitment. It’s not as big of a sacrifice as a family – or at least it shouldn’t be, but some people treat it that way. They put their work ahead of their families.

- My faith – Again, some people get this all wrong. They treat their faith like a weekly subscription that comes each Sunday and maybe Wednesday during small group. Other than that, God gets placed on hold. God needs to be the biggest sacrifice we make.

Filed Under: Youth Ministry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,