I have a student who is very quiet during our small group time. I think he has a lot to say, when he does make a comment it’s very well thought out and usually right on point. Sometimes after our small group time I’ll get into a text message session with him that will last 45 minutes, leaving me thinking, “wow I wish he would have brought up these points in small group tonight!”

But at the same time I also know that the wrong thing to do is put him on the spot or force him to participate in the group more than he does. The likely result from that would be to shut him down even further. So I have not pushed the point with him, but I also don’t let him slide, I’ll call on him from time to time to make sure I keep him involved in the group discussion. I know God is working in his life, it’s just going to take him some time to feel comfortable sharing.

Tonight I realized that time might be here. Tonight he text me and said that one of the guys in the group has been talking to him about opening up more and that he was going to really try to do that.

That told me that two things are happening here:

1. The guys in my group are watching out for each other. One of his peers in the group has come along side of him and talked to him about opening up more. I didn’t have to push the issue nor did I have to ask one of the guys in the group to do it for me. Love seeing God work in my small group and growing these guys.

2. This student now realizes that other guys care enough about him to talk to him about being comfortable enough to open up. I wish I could take the credit for this, but it’s totally God working in my small group.

Question: What ways do you use to get the wall flowers in your group to participate more? Leave your feedback here.