youth leader

Summer Camp is Only Six Months Away

January 19, 2012 by Matt Reynolds Leave a Comment

Our high school ministry summer camp is six months away and I’m already thinking about this year’s camp and praying about it. For the past two years I’ve seen lives changed in that week at camp, I know how powerful it can be for students who meet Jesus for the first time at camp. I’m taking a freshman group this year, so I’m also praying for me and hoping I can find a good co-leader for camp this year.

I have a friend who I work with at Saddleback Church and he just got involved with being a student ministry volunteer this year and I want to con him…I mean convince him into coming to camp this year, I think it will grow him and be a great thing for students to have him there this year.

As a camp veteran now, there are some things I want to be sure I do. I want to make sure I make the most of cabin time at night with my group. Our camp is one week long so I have four chances (Friday we are on our way home and there is no cabin time) to share God with students and help them along in their walk. I look at it as each night 25% of my cabin time is going to take place and I need to make the most of it.

Activities during the day with students are super important. I learned that last year when I had a group that I hadn’t met until the day we left for camp. I made a concerted effort to spend as much time with them during the day and find some one-on-one time with each student during the week. It paid off; those guys are all in my small group now and I thank God every day for each of them. However I will stress here, it’s important to find some time during the day for a quick quiet time with God. Don’t get so wrapped up in serving God at summer camp that you forget to spend time with him yourself!

I also think it’s important to find some time during the day to slip away and have a quick few minutes with other leaders:

After about 24 hours of total immersion with students I need to have a conversation with someone that where every sentence does not start with the word “dude”.
I want to hear how other leaders are doing, how they are handing problems with their groups. I might be having the same issues or someone else might be dealing with what I am. Two are stronger than one; we need to help each other out.

I’m also praying for the students I’ll have a camp this year, who I don’t even know yet. I’d love to hear how you start preparing yourself for summer camp.

Filed Under: Summer Camp, Youth Ministry Tagged With: leaders, quiet time, Summer Camp, youth leader, youth ministry

What Does Being a Man (or Woman) of God Mean to You?

December 12, 2011 by Matt Reynolds Leave a Comment

One of my high school small group students is turning 18 this week and I received an invitation from his family to come over for breakfast on the morning of his birthday. The invite said, that they have picked guys in my student’s life who they feel are a “man of God” and wanted us to come and celebrate his birthday but also be prepared to talk for a few minutes about what being a man of God means to me. I think this is an amazing idea, and I felt honored to be included with the others who were invited.

This is what I’m going to talk about. To me being a man of God means:

You say what you mean and mean what you say. You can’t just talk about God and your walk with Him and not live your life as an example.
Your word means everything. This is something I learned from my Dad. My Dad was from the generation where he could borrow money from a bank based on his word and a handshake. I want that same reputation.
You don’t just love God, you serve him. You’re actively involved in a ministry
Others first and then yourself. My mother used to say this to us all the time when I was a kid. It wasn’t until I became a Christian that I truly realized what this phrase meant.
Prayer. Yep, I admit that I can’t even begin to do this alone, and I go to God throughout the day in prayer asking for His help.
I realize that I make mistakes, but I don’t let them get me down. I pick myself up, dust myself off, ask for forgiveness and move on.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Laugh at yourself and realize that God has a sense of humor.

As I was writing this it dawned on me that these are the same traits that also make a good student ministry leader. I think we get into student ministry to serve and help students and at the same time, without us even being aware of it, God grows us along the way.

What does being a man (or woman) of God mean to you?

Filed Under: Mentoring, Small Groups, Youth Ministry Tagged With: encouragement, growth, man of God, small groups, youth leader

Follow the (New) Leader

October 28, 2011 by Generation to Generation 1 Comment

Today we’re beginning a new series called “Follow the (new) Leader.” Our friend John decided to be the leader of a high school small group this year. This is his first leap into student ministry and we decided to follow him on his journey. John is a former SWAT team commander so he should have no problem with a group of 16 freshman (at least, that’s what we’ve told him!). We’ve asked John to answer a series of questions from us each month and then on the last Friday of the month we’ll write a post about what’s going on with John and his students.

1) What was your biggest fear so far?

I think my biggest fear so far was that the kids in my group would feel scared or intimidated by me. I seem to have a certain demeanor that exudes a mean exterior when you look at me. Once I spoke to them and they got to know me, I think they will realize that I am an approachable leader who will grow with them in Christ during our time together.

2) How are you connecting with your students?

After I gave my biography to them regarding Police work they perked up and got involved with me a little more. They asked the normal questions that all kids ask cops when they meet them and that seemed to break the ice a little. I explained my need for trust in our group regarding things we share and the fact that they are all a part of that trust. They seemed to like that and agreed to not share anything with people outside of our group. The kids and I share a passion for guns and war games and that will no doubt play a role in our meetings.

3) Something you wish you would have done differently?

I don’t think I could have done anything differently, I gave it up to God before I met with my guys and He never let me down. He gave me the words to say that kept the guys interested in what I had to say and they are a great group of kids.

4) How have you seen yourself grow?

Since the reality hit me of having 16 more people who will look up to me as their leader, it dawned on me that every little thing I do is being watched by them. They will look for me to guide them and teach them how to be better Christians and better young men. I always try to do the right things and be a good example to all those around me, God has really put the importance of this on my heart the week leading up to my first group meeting. I know that God has put me in these boys lives to prepare them for the real world and to help them grow spiritually. I also know that I am not alone in this endeavor, God is with me every step of the way as well as my friends and co-workers who are always there to help me when I need it.

5) A funny story that happened?

As I’m walking the boys to the parking area to get picked up by their parents I told them to stop and listen up. I said that I know I look mean and intimidating and that I may seem that I am angry when in fact I’m merely listening to them intently. I told them that I am very protective of my family and will do whatever it takes to keep them from getting hurt. I help a long pause and then told the boys that they are all now in my family and I would do anything for them. The boys all gave audible sounds of relief and one of them even wiped their brow. You had to be there, but it was funny the way they were hanging on my last sentence as if they were listening to their last rites.

Check back next month and see how things are going with John and his group!

Filed Under: Follow the (new) Leader, Small Groups, Volunteer ministry, Youth Ministry Tagged With: Follow the leader, high school, John Nelissen, small groups, volunteer, youth leader, youth ministry

Can You Give Me One Piece Of Advice?

October 12, 2011 by Matt Reynolds Leave a Comment

in·ten·tion·al [in-ten-shuh-nl] adjective 1. done with intention or on purpose; intended. 2. of or pertaining to intention or purpose.

One of my goals this year is to be intentional with my small group guys. Tonight was our first meeting and to say that everything went great would be an understatement. I know all but three of the guys in my group, but I can already tell this is going to be an amazing year. We have already talked about some tough issues, and these guys really get into a good Bible study-discussion time.

Before our time with the students tonight, the high school small group leaders met for an hour training session. This year we have new leaders who literally signed up to be small group leaders two-weeks ago. I introduced myself to one tonight and during our conversation he asked me if I could give him one piece of advice what would that be?

My answer to him was “Be real, and be intentional with your group.” He asked what that meant and I described it this way:

Be real. Don’t try and to be something you’re not, don’t try to act cool, don’t try and impress them, just be yourself. Teenagers can see right through you if you’re not real with them. Quickest way for them to lose respect for you is for you to be “fake” with them.

Be Intentional. Let them know you’re there for them and don’t just say it, mean it! Be a part of their lives not just someone they see for two hours a week at a Bible study. Text them, call them, meet them for lunch, go to one of their games, whatever it takes.

I think one of the most important feelings that we as humans crave is to know that “someone cares” It doesn’t have to be something big, the little things matter too! A random text during the week that you are thinking about them and praying for whatever problem you know they are having goes a long, long way.

If you had to give one piece of advice to a new leader what would it be?

Filed Under: Small Groups, Volunteer ministry, Youth Ministry Tagged With: Be Real, intentional, leaders, relationships, small groups, students, volunteer, youth leader

Take the Good with the Bad

October 4, 2011 by Matt Reynolds Leave a Comment

In the past three years I’ve discovered that student ministry can be an amazing experience, filled with a ton of joy but also with some tough times. I rejoice when my guys are doing well or I see them growing stronger in their walk with God, but it makes me sad when I see them going through a hard time or having problems at home. Sometimes students don’t realize that God is all they need until God is all they have!

This week I got a text from one of my guys asking for prayer for a tough situation at home. I took time right when I got his text to pray for him. As a side note, if you tell your students that you’re going to pray for them…DO IT! Don’t wait, don’t run the risk of forgetting, don’t say you will and then you don’t do it. I think that’s one of the ways that we blaspheme these days – someone tells us about a problem they are having and we tell them, “I’ll pray for you.” And then we don’t.

As I was starting to pray for my student and the situation he was in I thought to myself, “How awesome it is that we can take all this stuff to God in prayer.” With student ministry you take the good with the bad, and hopefully you have a lot more good than bad. But when the bad times come, prayer should be one of your first weapons that you turn to in order to find a solution to the problem. My personality is such that I’m a “fixer”. I want to fix their problem and I want it fixed right now. I have to tell myself that God is in control, ask for His help and then realize that the solution is on God’s timetable not mine. That doesn’t mean that I’m going to just sit around and do nothing, I’m going to make sure that student knows I’m here for him and that he is loved.

Pray, and pray hard and make sure your students are doing the same.

Filed Under: Spriritual Life, Youth Ministry Tagged With: prayer, problems, small groups, students, youth leader

Doug Fields: Seven Ways To Have a Deeper Conversation With Teenagers

August 27, 2011 by Steven Orel 2 Comments

Found this gem on Doug Fields’ blog. It’s a great list of tips about how to have deeper conversations with the students in your ministry. Read a teaser of the first four tips below, then head over to the full post here.

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1. Stay normal: Deep conversations often begin by talking about normal stuff. Don’t jump straight into the deep end and ask them to dress like John the Baptist and memorize the Septuagint. Every conversation doesn’t have to be forced toward depth. Good conversations begin as normal conversations.

2. Draw them closer to Jesus: Avoid the temptation to become “the wise leader” who subtlety promotes loyalty to oneself rather than Jesus.

3. Allow the journey to be a journey: A common tendency in discipleship is to assume others will grow quickly (like they did at summer camp). Kids made decisions at camp to follow Jesus, but now that school has kicked in, their spiritual decisions might not be as quick or radical. Slow, incremental progress is expected. Show them grace on the journey.

4. Ask questions: The power of a question is that it puts the ball in the teenager’s court and allows him/her space to reflect. Don’t answer their questions too quickly, sometimes the best answer can be another question. Strong, definitive answers often mute the stirring in one’s heart.

Filed Under: Mentoring, Youth Ministry Tagged With: deeper conversation, Doug Fields, students, teenagers, youth leader, youth ministry

Five Tips For Starting The School Year Right

August 20, 2011 by Matt Reynolds 1 Comment

I read this article this week on YouthMinistry360.com blog. I thought this was a great article for youth ministry leaders and volunteers. It’s from Jay Higham, who is the Director of Youth and Family Ministries at St. Paul’s Presbyterian Church in Somerset, PA. You can find more great stuff from Jay at his website here.

Starting the new school year off right is a wonderful thought.

What a great time to get rid of a few bad habits, start a few good ones, and pledge to do things a little better than the year before.

See . . . told you it was a wonderful thought! Here are five simple suggestions that I know I will be using this year. Maybe they will be helpful to you, too.

Commit To A Daily Quiet Time With God

Maybe you already set aside time in your daily schedule to spend time in God’s Word. Great! Keep it up! If you struggle to keep a daily quiet time schedule, don’t freak out. Many struggle with setting aside this time. But let me encourage you to really commit to making time each day to spend reading God’s Word, praying, and listening.

As those who lead youth, there really is no excuse for us not to be in God’s Word each day.

Eat Well

The older I get the more I find that I am in need of healthier eating habits. Long gone are the twenty-something years when I could eat whatever I wanted and burn it off while watching TV. Eating well is carefully choosing what we eat, and maybe more importantly, what we don’t eat. No crazy diet or weight loss plan. Just eat what is good for us. Moderation is important. We’re not challenging the 10th grade boys to a pizza eating contest.

We all know we feel better, and in fact are healthier when we choose to eat well. Our health is a huge part of being an effective youth worker. If you don’t feel good, it’s hard to be effective!

Get Out And Exercise

Working out is not my favorite thing. But if I make it through a couple days, working out begins to feel better. I have a little more energy. I’m a little more productive. And I feel healthier. Not to mention the reduced stress levels. Plus, next time you play killball, you can get back at that 11th grader who knocked you out because you had to stop and catch your breath.

And if that’s not motivation, I don’t know what is.

Create A Routine

Routines can be good when they help us establish good working habits. I find when I stick to a routine, I accomplish some of the little things that I may not always enjoy doing. For example, when I arrive at the office in the morning I set up my laptop, check email, check my calendar for the day, return any messages, check my favorite blogs, and develop my plan of attack. All of this happens within the first 90 minutes of the morning. Then, I move about my day!

Procrastinate Later

I can be a real procrastinator. In high school I was great at waiting till the last minute before tackling assignments. Even in ministry, I find there are a few tasks that I would just rather not do. That makes it that much easier to put them off. But I was given some very wise advice, many, many years ago. If I were to get into the habit of just doing what I disliked doing right away, I wouldn’t have to deal with the agony of knowing I still have to something that I really didn’t want to do. So don’t procrastinate! Attack those undesired tasks right out of the box and get them done.

It’s better to have a few minutes of “pain” instead of a couple hours of “torture” knowing you still have to get it done.

So, there you go, five simple ideas to help you start the new school and ministry year off right.

What tips would you add?

Filed Under: Repost, Volunteer ministry, Youth Ministry Tagged With: Jay Higham, leaders, leadership, lesson, youth leader, youth ministry

Words from Summer Camp

July 12, 2011 by Matt Reynolds Leave a Comment

As you’re reading this I’m away at our High School Ministry Summer Camp. First off, let me ask for your prayers. Pray that the Holy Spirit will stir in the students that really need it, that God shows up big time and that lives are changed at camp this year. Also pray for our staff, volunteers and our speaker that we help those students who have not yet made the decision to give their life to Christ, that we can help them with that decision.

Last year the day I got home from a week of Summer Camp, I was physically and emotionally drained… and could not wait to go back to camp again this year. Summer Camp is all about the students. As leaders we put our needs behind us and work to make this an awesome experience for the Students. But God shows up in the leaders too! It’s a great way to get re-charged in student ministry, it’s a great way to let God use you. We’ve said this many times, you do not have to be a 20 something to be an effective leader in Student Ministry. I’m living proof of that.

Here are some things I learned last year that I want to pass along:

1. When your group gets back, stay in contact with new students that were assigned to you. Let them know you wanted them to be connected not just for the week they were with you at camp, but for a life time! I know many, many people who will tell you that a summer camp with their church was a life-changing event for them, Steven is one of them.

2. Students are on a “camp high” when they get back; you can’t help but be that way because of all of the positive energy and the life changing experiences that happen at camp. If a student does not come back a changed person, they know someone who is. Keep building on that feeling, if you know they are not in a small group; encourage them to get into one. Talk to them about how your life has changed with Jesus in control.

3. At camp you are with students all the time, get to know each of them if you don’t already know them. I don’t mean just know their name, get to KNOW them. Find out what’s going on in their lives and how you can help them. If they come from an un-churched family you may be the only example they have of how to live a Christian life, be the best example you can be!

4. Look for that one student who just seems to be off by his or her self. Shy kids have a hard time blending in no matter what the circumstances. Pay some extra attention to them; introduce them to other students, GET THEM INVOLVED!

5. Have fun. That’s right, have fun. When is the last time you played a game of kickball or soccer or whatever? There will be times when you need to be serious and be a leader, but there will be plenty of time to just be one of the guys. Nothing makes you fit in more, and makes you a part of a student’s life than when you just hang out with them. That’s where a lot of the real ministry happens.

Filed Under: Spriritual Life, Summer Camp, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry Tagged With: encouragement, high school, Summer Camp, youth leader, youth ministry

Don’t try to bring students to your level – get to theirs

June 7, 2011 by Steven Orel Leave a Comment

Last semester I started as a student at Biola University. It was a major change for me (literally and figuratively). I had never been a part of any kind of Christian or private school, and I made a significant change in my major from Engineering to Biblical Studies. I have gone to public, secular schools my whole life. This new style of education was a bit of a shock at first, especially on my first day of classes when all of the professors opened the class in prayer. After I had been in school for a few weeks, I noticed a slight change in how I was leading in ministry – I tended to get a little more technical and detailed when it came to talking about God and the Bible with my students.

After a few weeks of leading like this, I realized what I was doing and made a course correction to fix this. I understood that my junior high students probably aren’t going to meet me at the level of detail that my professors are feeding me, so I needed to get down to a level they could understand.

I think this is a major flaw a lot of leaders in youth ministry have. Maybe not in the same way that I did, but the overall idea in general. We try so hard to get students to understand concepts and ideas that we want them to know, but we do it on our terms. Most of the time, students don’t soak in what we try to feed them when we do it on our terms… We need to get down to theirs. We reach out a hand and tell them to grab on so we can pull them up, but what we should be doing is crouching down to get to them.

Leaders: Instead of finding ways to bring your students’ understanding to your level, find a way to get to theirs. Put things in their terms. Use pop culture. Relate things to them in a way they can understand and track with.

Question: How do you make sure to relate with students on their level and not yours?

Filed Under: Youth Ministry Tagged With: Biola, junior high, leadership flaws, relating to students, teaching, youth leader, youth ministry

A note to parents of teens, part 2

May 28, 2011 by Steven Orel Leave a Comment

On Wednesday I posted a note to parents of teens. After that went live, I had a few people ask me to write a follow-up to that post addressing the question, “What steps you can follow to ensure that your child is on the right path toward having God in their lives?” To answer that question, here are a few things I think you can do as a parent to make sure your child is on the right track.

1. Talk to them. I hear about so many parents that aren’t involved in their kids’ lives, and then they wonder why they’re not connecting with the kids. Kids strive to be heard. They want to have someone to tell about their day, the funny thing Johnny did in class, the thing Suzie did that made them mad.

2. Don’t try to be their friend. There are a lot of parents who strive for their child’s acceptance. They want so badly to be the “cool mom” that they forget about their primary responsibility – parenting. First and foremost, your job as a parent is to do just that, parent. Kids have friends at school, they don’t need one more at home. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to be friends with your kids by any means. My parents are two of my best friends, but that’s because they chose to be parents to me first.

3. Don’t shy away from the uncomfortable conversations. Let’s face it, there are some conversations you don’t want to have with your kids. I don’t need to go into detail about what those conversations look like, but the important thing to remember is that those are discussions that need to happen. If you have a concern about something your child is doing, bring it up. Don’t let the opportunity pass by.

4. Make sure your child has a relationship with Jesus. This is probably the most obvious, yet in my opinion, the most overlooked. Families that have spent their whole lives in the church and have had their kids there since they were infants have a tendency to assume that their child has a relationship with Christ. We sometimes do this as youth leaders as well. Don’t let there be any doubt in your mind if your child has accepted Christ as their Lord. As a parent, this is the best thing you can do for your child to ensure a solid life foundation and an eternity in heaven.

Note: I definitely do not consider myself a parenting expert. I have never had kids of my own, and I don’t plan to for a long time. The information I write about is taken from two places: my experience with my own parents and parents of my students, and parenting series that have been put on at Saddleback Church.